Sweet Dreams For A Liar
by StewLuv
Summary: Feeling betrayed, Bella decides to get back at her father by seducing an older man and his enemy. But Bella soon realizes she has found the truest and most profound love with Edward, but will it fall apart with her lies?  *On Hiatus
1. Stupid Girl

**Thanks to edwardrocksmysocks for editing my crap out :) lol **

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><p>Chapter 1- Stupid Girl<p>

~Present day~

_"I'm trying. I'm trying I swear. I fucking swear, but I can't feel it," he cried as he tightly held her head to his chest. It was painful, but she didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. "Tell me to try harder."_

_"I can't," she whispered into the tear stained button shirt. _

_"Why?"_

_"I don't deserve it."_

_"You don't."_

_She sobbed violently and pulled on his shirt trying to find a cure to her crying disease. It was her fault, but somehow things would be fixed. She would be happy again and most importantly he would be too._

_She was naïve._

_She cried and cried while they continued to sit on the floor accompanied by the broken glass of his anger and her faults. _

_He rocked her back and forth in his arms, holding on for dear life. Roughly, he caressed her hair remembering the number of times he did the same thing but in a sweeter and loving way while thinking how lucky he was. _

_What a fool._

_He let out a broken sob into her brown hair._

_Her small body shook again with another sob of her own._

_"Oh please don't cry. Oh don't cry, you liar. You liar."_

~Five months earlier~

"How pissed off do you think Charlie would be if he found out we smoke?" Alice asked while she drove Bella and herself to school.

Bella rolled her eyes and exhaled smoke out her window.

"Pretty fucking pissed. But that would only happen if he actually knew I existed."

"Oh my god, here we go again. 'He doesn't love me. He doesn't pay attention whaaa whaaa.' Ouch!"

Bella laughed as her friend rubbed the arm she had just punched.

"You bitch."

"Well shut your face."

"All I'm saying is that your father hasn't changed a thing in the past four years so there is no point in crying about it."

"I don't cry. Ever."

"I know you don't, you soulless bitch. I was figuratively speaking."

"You don't know what you're talking about, friend. Your dad didn't get married to the wicked witch of the west and let her bring her spawn to live at your house."

"Leah isn't that bad."

"That's because she's also a fake. Every time you come to my house she puts on her 'I'm so damn nice' act and you fall for it. Whose side are you on anyway?"

"Yours of course. But things aren't gonna change, so why not get used to them?"

Bella sighed and flicked her cigarette butt out the window.

"I'm already used to them, but it doesn't mean I like them."

Alice parked her car at the usual spot and groaned dramatically as she grabbed her backpack.

"Time to face the wonderful world of Forks Private High School, Bella."

"I wonder whose rich daddy or mommy is out of town. We need a party," Bella said as she fixed the bottom of her dark blue uniform skirt. They made their way to the entrance of the building. The loud groups of teenagers meeting for the first time since Christmas break caused a feeling of dread for Bella.

Alice huffed and led her friend to get their new schedules. "We need to get shitfaced. This whole school crap is stressful."

"Alice, today is the first day of school in weeks. How are you already stressed?"

"Jessica Slutty Stanley and her group of crack whores, Mike Eww Newton and the damn jocks, Angela Nerdy Webber and her friends, Mrs. Cope and her stutter, talking endlessly about history nobody cares about because our generation will ruin the world, must I go on?"

"No, you could have stopped at Jessica, but you have no filter or stop plug." The girls giggled as they picked their schedules up. As they looked at their schedules to see if they shared classes for the spring semester, Tyler walked to them and wrapped an arm around Bella.

"Hello, Bella…"

"Um hi, Ty."

"So I'm having a party on Friday night and guess who is invited?" He wiggled his eyebrows and she was about to roll her eyes at him when Alice answered.

"Bella Swan and her BFF forever, me?" She answered.

"Hell yeah, so see you there Bells," he said and walked off.

"I fucking hate it when people call me Bells! And doesn't he know I have a boyfriend?"

"Oh shut up. He's gonna get us shitfaced which is all that matters."

"You wino."

"You prude."

"You whore."

"Only sometimes."

~SDFAL~

During her first period history class, Bella did what she did best. She stared off into space. She daydreamed about shit that had nothing to do with history. Mrs. Cope's stutter only seemed to worsen with old age. Poor hag, if she only knew how many times Bella had suicidal thoughts when _trying_ to listen to her talk about the Industrial Revolution.

Lauren Mallory and Mike Newton silently laughed at her when she would turn her back to them.

Bella hated them.

Bella hated everybody in school.

They were all rich kids with nothing to worry about in life so they felt the need to act like complete assholes and morons all the time. They were soulless people that followed what was popular or what was 'in'. They had no thoughts of their own. They were robots. They were copies of themselves and their rich parents programmed with thoughts and beliefs that were not their own.

Bella knew she wasn't the smartest or the most original. Hell, she didn't even know who the hell she was supposed to be. But at least she didn't try to be them. She didn't try to be just another copy of brainless heads with big tits and ass.

Her father, Charles Swan, used to be a rich man.

Used to be important to society.

Used to be a big name.

Until he was fucked over in a bad business deal.

He lost his money and his house. The only reason he kept Bella in private school was because he didn't want to look like a complete fuck up.

He was a good guy. Bella loved her father.

But sometimes he seemed to love his new family more than her. More than the girl that reminded him of what used to be. More than the girl that looked like the woman he loved and lost.

He didn't realize she hurt the most over her loss. He didn't realize that she needed him the night of the accident.

"Ms. Swan?" Mrs. Cope said with no stutter bringing Bella back to reality.

"Yes, Mrs. Cope?"

"Would you s-s-stop d-d-daydreaming? And pay at-t-tention?"

"Of course, Mrs. Cope."

"T-t-thank you. Now I'm going to t-t-t-talk about the Industrial Revolution."

_Fuck my life_

~SDFAL~

"Holy hell, Bella! We have English together!" Alice shrieked.

Bella laughed and grabbed Alice's hands before she started clapping.

"This only means we will probably fail English this year."

"Oh shut up." Bella rolled her eyes. "We are a good team."

"Yeah, the fact that we both failed math in ninth grade doesn't support your statement."

"That's because you suck at math and I was too distracted by Mr. Valencia's sexy Spanish accent."

"Of course, or the fact that you and I were kicked out by said Spanish accent."

"Maybe that too."

Both girls walked into their English class joking about how Jessica Stanley was already making out with the new guy.

"She has to be the most annoying stereotype of all time," Alice muttered. "Like hello, I'm blonde, dumb and a whore!"

"Alice, not all blondes are stupid."

"Mike Newton?"

"Well..."

"Lauren Mallory? Tanya, Mr. Porter, Reese Witherspoon…"

"That was only a movie."

"Whatever."

"You're going to end up with a blonde man."

Jessica walked into class and sat down next to Bella.

"Hello girls."

"Hello, Jess," Alice said in a high pitch voice trying to mimic Jessica, but of course the girl was oblivious.

Bella held in her laugh.

A tall, lean man walked into the classroom. He ran a hand through his tousled weirdly bronzed hair and sighed. He straightened his green tie that matched his eyes and cleared his throat.

"Hello class, my name is Mr. Cullen and that is what you will call me as I will call you by your names."

Bella didn't hear Alice talking to her or Jessica making comments about how sexy he was.

Bella only stared at the beautiful man in front of her.

"So don't call me simply Mr. or Sir. That's my only rule. Now let's talk about English."

Bella wouldn't know what the hell he talked about. The whole period she followed his every move around the class. She stared at the way he moved his hands, those beautiful hands, while he explained the book they were supposed to read. She stared at how his jaw line was covered in just the right amount of stubble.

"Bella!" Alice whispered loudly.

"What?"

"I've been trying to get your attention for the past ten minutes?"

"What the hell do you want? We're in class!"

Suddenly Alice sat up straight and Bella stopped breathing as she heard the footsteps.

"Isabella?"

"Bella," she corrected him.

Stupid girl.

"Isabella, why are you talking in my class?" He looked down at her. His clenched jaw and hovering frame made her feel small.

Asshole.

"I'm sorry…" she began, but he wasn't going to listen.

"Your apologies are useless, Isabella. Please refrain from speaking unless I ask you to or this school semester will be very long for the both of us." He walked away and started to talk about the stupid book she didn't give a shit about.

She had decided it.

She hated him.

"Can you believe the nerve of that asshole?" Bella shouted out in the parking lot. "I mean, why did he have to be such an asshole about it?"

"And such a sexy asshole he is."

"Alice!"

"What? I mean he is a bit of an asshole, but did you look at him?"

"Hell yes, but he isn't getting laid anyway by the looks of it. What a prick."

"Maybe you could help him with that," Jessica said walking to them.

"What are you talking about, Jessica?" Alice asked, already annoyed.

"Sexing up Mr. Cullen. Bella couldn't stop drooling over him before he got all angry with her. Why don't you seduce him? Show what a real bad girl you are."

"What? She has a boyfriend," Alice said.

"And he is a great guy that Jacob, but I'm just trying to have a little fun with Bella. I'll make you a bet."

"What?" Bella couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"One hundred bucks for a kiss. I mean a real, tongue war, kiss. A video will get you the money. And five hundred bucks if you get him to go all the way with you by the end of the semester. And to get the money, you can call me to give you a ride back home. After it happens."

"That's stupid, Jessica. He's a teacher. I would be stupid to take on your bet. He'll never go for it."

"Why are you so sure? He is only in his mid twenties. It's possible he'll fall for an eighteen year old. It's legal."

"You're just a bored rich girl with nothing else to do," Alice countered. "Bella isn't like that."

"Whatever, just think about it Bella. Give me a call if you change your mind." Jessica walked away and Bella shook her head.

"What a crazy bitch," Alice said and Bella nodded in agreement.

~SDFAL~

"How was work, honey?" Sue asked Charlie at the dinner table.

"Alright. Not what I want to do with my life, but it will do in the meantime," Charlie said and smiled at his wife.

"Well I think you look handsome in a police uniform, Charlie," Leah said and Bella rolled her eyes.

_I fucking hate you_

"Bells, how was school?" He asked trying to give his daughter some attention. He did it once in a while.

"Alright. I have a really rude teacher."

"Well you better get over it. Charlie spends a lot of money on that school, Bella," Leah said and Bella wanted to stab her fork in her leg. But the mashed potatoes were too good. Instead, she just glared at her step-sister.

"Leah," Sue tried to warn her daughter.

"I'm just saying, Mom. Bella needs a little growing up to do. I go to the reservation's school. It lacks in good teachers and books but I don't complain. Bella needs to appreciate what she has." Charlie didn't say anything.

He never did.

"So who is this rude teacher, Bells?" He asked shoving some more food into his mouth.

"Oh, a Mr. Cullen. English teacher."

"Cullen?"

"Yep."

"How old is he?"

"I don't know. Maybe 25? He's really young."

"Does he have red hair?"

"Reddish, yeah. Why? You know him?" Bella was intrigued. Charlie knew Mr. Cullen?

"Of course I do. He's Edward Cullen, Carlisle Cullen's son."

"And he is…"

"The asshole that screwed me over. Well, he didn't directly do it, but he helped. I hate him and his family. They used to be my friends until the business turned sour for me. I don't want you communicating or socializing with those people, Bella. If you can, get out of his class."

"Dad, I don't think it's a big deal to where I have to change classes."

"Bella, it is a big deal. Because of those people I have lost my job and my house."

"Fine, I'll see what I can do."

~SDFAL~

There was no other English teacher besides Mr. Cullen.

Charlie didn't like the news, but only sighed and mumbled profanities. He made Bella swear she wouldn't talk to him or his family. She didn't know why she would ever even consider it, so she didn't worry about it.

Mr. Cullen seemed to hate her anyway.

He would always pick on her.

"Isabella, please stop daydreaming in my class. Isabella, stop talking. Isabella, stop clicking your pen. Isabella, please read out loud and please read slowly. You seem to want to speed through every word. You insult the author."

Bella really hated him by the end of the week.

On Friday, she spent the afternoon at Alice's house getting ready for Tyler's party.

"Have you even talked to Jake lately?" Alice asked as she fixed Bella's hair.

"Yes, we talk over the phone all the time and he's going to the party tonight."

"Awesome. Tell him to take some weed."

"You pot head."

"You asshole."

"You have a flat ass."

"You have small tits."

"Shut the hell up already!" Emmett yelled from downstairs and the two girls started to giggle.

"Is your brother going?" Bella asked.

"Nah, now that he is in college, he thinks he's the shit and too good for high school parties."

"That's too bad. He's always the life of the party."

"Does Charlie know where you're at?"

"No, he never asks and it doesn't matter. He's too busy with Sue and his new daughter Leah."

"You really do hate them?"

"I hate Leah. Sue is okay. Sometimes she tries too hard to be my friend." The girls traded places and Bella started working on Alice's hair.

"Can you believe Jessica? Really? Like there is no organization she can donate her money to. She's making stupid bets. Stupid bitch," Alice said, looking at Bella through the mirror of her dresser.

"I know. Besides, Mr. Cullen fucking hates me. Do you hear how he refuses to call me Bella and how he has to pick at everything at I do? I swear he acts like I'm fucking up his world."

"Bella, he's like that with everybody. Like today, he got on to me because I smacked my gum and because I coughed. He hates the world, not just you."

"Well I hate him and the stick up his ass." Both girls laughed.

~SDFAL~

"I fucking hate this song," Bella moaned as they started to play some hip hop song.

"Bella, it's a high school party filled with teenagers. You're gonna hate everything about it, except the booze," Jacob said and Bella giggled. They had been dating for years now. They were each other's first of everything. First kiss, sex, fight, and first anything else, that's what they were.

"You know me so well."

"That I do." He was a great guy and always there for her. He was there when her mom died and had been there every time she would break down. He always listened and always comforted her without asking for anything in return.

The ridiculous and devastating thing was that Bella did not love him.

She tried. She tried loving Jake, but what she felt for him was not love and she knew it. And because she couldn't love such a wonderful guy like Jake, she gave up on the idea of love.

She never told him but he knew it. He _did_ love her and would wait for her to love him back. Bella hated herself.

After a few minutes, Jake brought her another beer and they smoked a joint together while they sat on Tyler's couch. He started to kiss her neck and he hoped he would get lucky tonight. It had been too long.

But he wasn't lucky and nor was Bella.

"Bella!" Alice yelled and Bella pushed Jacob away.

"What?"

"Your father is outside. He's making everyone go home!"

"Holy shit!" Bella stood up and held onto Jacob as she realized the beer and the weed had kicked in.

She ran outside and Jacob followed.

Charlie was on Tyler's front yard yelling for everyone to go home, threatening arrest.

"Dad!" She said going up to him. "Dad, they get the point, now stop it. This is embarrassing."

"Isabella, how many goddamn times have I told you that I don't want you seeing this boy?" He asked pointing at Jake who was standing right behind her.

"Dad, Jake is my boyfriend. I've told you that many times as well."

"Well I don't like him. He's trouble. Look at your eyes! I bet he's responsible for this!"

"Sir…Mr. Swan," Jake stammered.

"Shut up! Bella get in the damn car and stay in there. You best get home Jacob, before I call Billy and tell him about this shit!"

Jake gave Bella a sympathy look and walked away.

Bella was now alone.

As usual.

~SDFAL~

"You're on fucking drugs!" Charlie yelled.

"It's just beer!"

"I was a teenager once. Don't you think for a minute that I'm stupid."

"What does it matter anyway what I think? You don't give a shit about me anyway!" Bella yelled. They were standing in the dining room with the dinner table separating them.

Charlie felt the pain in his chest he always felt when Bella talked like that. He loved his daughter so much. He blamed himself for the way she acted. She thought he didn't love her and she couldn't be more wrong. He knew it was his fault she believed this. He hadn't been the best father over the past few years.

"Bella, I do care. You're my daughter. Of course I care! That's why I don't want you seeing that Jacob Black. He isn't good for anything! He spends his time playing video games and doing drugs. He's a bad influence on you!"

"Oh shut up, Dad. You don't really give a damn about me! All you care about is what people may think of your daughter. All you care about is your new wife and your new daughter! Not about me!"

"Bella, why are you saying these things? I thought you loved Sue."

"I loved my mother! And you did too. But ever since she died you act like it's my fault, so you got replacements for me and her."

"I don't think that."

"Then why did you change so much?"

"Bella, even before Renee died, things were changing. I lost everything. Renee wasn't the same, and I wasn't either. Before she died, I had planned on asking her for a divorce."

"What?" Bella asked. Shocked by the revelation, Bella covered her mouth with one hand to keep her cries to herself.

"I didn't replace her or you. Sue already existed…"

Bella could no longer see. The tears in her eyes made it impossible.

"Renee found out about her a few hours before her death."

"Why are you telling me this now? How dare you? How fucking dare you, Charlie?"

"Bella, I'm only telling you because I'm tired of hiding it from you. I don't want you to think that I blame you for what happened, because I don't. Renee got upset and took off in her car. I didn't hear or find her until that night…in that ditch. I blame myself. That's why I've acted strange with you. Don't blame Sue or Leah."

Bella fell to her knees and began to cry. The pain in her chest was too much.

"Bella, baby girl, I'm so sorry." Charlie tried to comfort his daughter, but she pushed him away.

"Get away from me! Don't touch me!" She ran up to her room and slammed the door behind her.

She cried and cried into her pillow, hugging her mother's photo in that frame she had made her in the third grade. The one Renee always bragged about to her friends.

"Mommy, I miss you so much," she cried and kissed Renee's image.

She hated her father.

She didn't know if it was something she would get over, but she wanted to get even. She wanted to get back at her father for lying to her and for hurting her mother.

So she called Jessica Stanley, not caring that it was three in the morning.

"What the hell, Swan? It's fucking late."

"I'll do it."

"Huh? Do what?"

"I'll take on your bet."

"Really?"

Bella was going to hurt her father.

"Yes. I'll seduce Mr. Cullen."

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><p><strong>Sooooo? I know! What's with me and bets and seducing? Lol But this story is completely different and probably much shorter than ATTY. And it won't be as angsty…*gasp* I know…<strong>

**Please let me know what you think. It's the only thing that keeps me going.**

**P.S Before the Second Show is still being worked on. Sorry! But I had to get this story going. It was bugging me.**


	2. Failed

**Hello my loves! Sorry if you got the alert for this chapter again! I accidently deleted it! I'm so...I know. Just ignore if you read already.**

**OMG Thank you so much for the amount of reviews and love you showed the first chapter!**

**Thanks to edwardrocksmysocks, because she went to war against a computer virus and then fixed this chapter up for me! She is a brave soul that one.**

Chapter 2- Failed

"Charlie says that if you don't come out and have breakfast, you're gonna get sick," Leah mumbled against Bella's locked door.

"I don't give a shit. Now, fuck off," Bella groaned.

"Whatever. I don't give a shit either, but he's making me come all the way up here."

"Your point is? Go away."

Bella sighed when she heard Leah's footsteps running down the stairs. She was probably off to tell Charlie how much of a bitch she was being, but she truly didn't care.

She hadn't left her room in the past two days and refused to get up to attend church on Sunday. Sue always made a big breakfast on Sundays and Charlie loved the shit out of it. Bella wasn't going to be the odd person out. That family was not hers.

What bugged Bella was that the only reason she did it was because Renee used to do it. Charlie always invited people over on Sundays and made Renee cook extra. But she didn't mind. She loved cooking for friends and her family.

Sue thought she would earn points with Charlie and Bella by doing the same, but only earned hate from Bella.

She was trying to replace her mother and Bella wasn't going to allow it. The sooner she realized it the better it would be for everyone.

After Charlie's confession, Bella could not process the idea of looking at Sue in the face. It wasn't just her fault, it was Charlie's too, but the amount of hate and anger Bella felt for the woman didn't allow her to function.

She hated the woman as much as much as she hated her father.

Maybe more…

Bella groaned when her phone started to play Alice's ringtone. She wiped her tears away and grabbed the phone from the nightstand.

"Swan, why haven't you answered me? I've been calling you since Friday night. Are you okay?" Alice's genuine concern made Bella smile. "Was Charlie an ass to you?"

She had no idea.

"Of course, but that doesn't matter, Al. I'm sorry I didn't answer you. I wasn't feeling too good. I still feel like utter shit, but whatever. Does everybody hate me now, because of Charlie busting the party?"

"Nah, nobody knows it was your dad. There were other cops there too."

"Oh," Bella simply said.

"Friend, are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure? You want me to come over with shitty ass chick flicks and chocolate?"

"No, Alice, but thank you. I just need to be alone."

Bella spent the rest of the afternoon in her room. Sometimes she cried while caressing her mother's photo. It was one of her and Renee who had her arms wrapped around the small girl and the biggest smile on her face. Bella was eight and wearing a horrible ballerina outfit. She remembered hating that itchy thing and hated everything that had to do with being a ballerina. She was absolutely no good at it but Renee thought it was a good idea.

Bella loved to please her mother. The way Renee's blue eyes widened and sparkled when she was proud made Bella happy.

Too bad Bella was never good at anything.

Bella opened her window to let some fresh air into her room. She spotted Charlie, Sue and Leah jumping into Sue's minivan. They were dressed up and probably going out for dinner. Of course, she wasn't invited.

Why in the hell would she be?

Bella huffed and lit a cigarette. She only smoked when she was mad or stressed out. Today, she was both.

Memories of her mother and father, of when she thought they were happy, ran through her head. She didn't understand how Charlie could have cheated on her mother. She didn't understand why he didn't want to be with Renee. After all, Renee was an amazing person.

She was always sweet and happy. Nobody hated or disliked her. It didn't make any sense for her own husband not to notice that. It didn't make any sense that he would cheat on her with a woman who was the complete opposite of her.

Sue was quiet and shy. She never said much and at times seemed emotionless.

Belle made herself angrier at the thoughts she was having. She couldn't find it in herself to forgive her father for making her mother's last moments a living hell. She could just see how angry and sad she must have been to discover Charlie's lie.

Bella made her way to Charlie's "office." In reality it was just a room with a desk and a mess consisting of junk mail and other crap. Charlie had stopped going into it since the bad business deal. He probably thought it held all his bad memories.

Bella walked to a pair of brown shelves in the back of the office. She knew Charlie kept the old photo albums hidden on the very top. She dragged a chair to the shelves and reached as high as she could.

After some huffing and cursing, Bella finally managed to grab a pair of large and old photo albums. Surely these infamous Cullens had taken a picture with Charlie. They used to be friends after all. She just couldn't bring herself to remember them.

After going through pictures of different forgotten family members and her own baby pictures, Bella found one of a tall, beautiful blonde man. His blue eyes, soft and friendly, didn't seem dangerous. He had his arm around Charlie and one around a woman with beautiful reddish brown hair.

She wondered if these were the Cullens. Mr. Cullen had similarities to the woman in the photo. The striking green eyes and odd, but beautiful reddish brown hair was inherited by him. He had the man's jaw line and cheek bones. They were a beautiful people.

She turned the page of the album and landed on a photo of her mother.

Bella bit her lip and held her tears. Though nobody would see or hear her, Bella hated crying. She had only cried once after her mother passed away and that was Friday night when her father broke her heart.

Renee sat in between Charlie and Sue. Her usual bright smile towards the camera made Bella angry. The way Charlie looked bored and how Sue looked indifferent, made Bella fist her hands.

How long had they lied to her mother? How fucking long?

How long had Charlie betrayed her family?

They made Renee's last day the worst.

They had lied to her and cheated her friendship.

They had ruined Bella's life.

Charlie would get a taste of his own medicine.

Tomorrow was Monday and Bella knew she had to come up with a plan to get Mr. Cullen interested in her. Apparently she hadn't made a good first impression.

She couldn't ask Alice for advice. Alice couldn't know, period. She wouldn't support her. She felt strange and guilty that she would keep this from her best friend.

But it had to be done.

Bella glanced at the photo one more time…

It had to be done.

~SDFAL~

"Why do you look so sexy today?" Alice said as Bella opened the passenger side of her car.

"I just wanted to look good for once," Bella said as she checked her makeup.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Did you and Jake finally break up? Are you looking for a replacement?"

"What? No. Why would you think that?"

"Well I don't know, you look like a mega slut today and I don't buy your bullshit."

"I don't give a single damn! Do I really look like a slut?"

"A humble slut."

"Good." Both girls giggled. "Why did you say 'finally' break up with Jake? We're good together."

"Good, yes. Happy? No. In love? Please don't make me laugh. I like Jake. He's a sweet boy, but you need to let him go already."

"He's been my close friend since we were little kids."

"And you can still be friends, but a romance should not be happening between the two of you."

"Alright, shut up, Dr. Phil. Let's not talk about Jake." Bella didn't want to talk about him.

This made her worry. This made her uneasy.

How was she going to keep Jake?

Or how was she going to get rid of him?

~SDFAL~

Throughout the school day, Bella couldn't concentrate. She kept repeating her father's words in her mind.

_Before she died, I had planned on asking her for a divorce_

_I didn't replace her or you. Sue already existed_

_Sue already existed_

Bella ran to the restroom after biology.

She felt sick to her stomach. She didn't want to go to lunch. She wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there. She wanted to be away from her family or what the people around her called her family. She wanted to stay away from the people in school that had no idea about the pain she felt.

She missed her mother.

"Mom, I swear Dad is going to pay for what he did to you. I swear," she whispered into the empty restroom.

She finally exited the restroom and entered the cafeteria. She noticed Alice who was just eating an orange and drinking water.

"Hey, Ano," Bella said as she sat down next to her.

"Ano?"

"Anorexic."

"Ha fucking ha, you b word. At least I'm eating. Where the hell were you? I waited for you outside Bio for like ten minutes," Alice said.

Bella cleared her throat and shrugged. "I was in the restroom. I wasn't feeling too well."

"Are you still feeling like utter shit? I told you we should get together and watch shitty ass chick flicks and..."

"Bad movies and chocolate don't fix everything!" Bella laughed.

"They do on certain days of the month!"

"I'm not on my period, Alice."

"You know who _is_ on his rag?"

"Who?"

Alice giggled and pointed towards the salad bar with her eyes.

Bella turned and spotted Mr. Cullen serving himself a bowl of fruit. She smiled to herself and stood up.

"I think I want an apple," she said, not waiting for Alice's response and made her way to the salad bar.

She stood next to him, pretending to be examining the choices of lettuce.

She inhaled in his smell. Shit, he smelled good. He smelled like cologne and just pure man. He was much taller than her. Her head barely reached his shoulders and up closer he looked a little older.

He seemed tired. The dark circles under his eyes and the stubble on his perfect jaw made him human compared to the image Bella had stored in her mind of a god looking man she detested. He was still the most beautiful man Bella had ever seen.

Bella was in awe. She moved her feet to follow him down the line of salad and fruit. Her admiration for the man was ridiculous. So much so, that she didn't notice that he had stopped at the bowl of apples. She gently bumped into him causing him to drop the apple he had picked.

Stupid girl.

"So sorry," she muttered, feeling herself turn red as she picked the damn thing off the ground.

Mr. Cullen just stared at the red apple in her small hands as she offered it back to him. He shook his head and sighed.

"Isabella, why on earth would I want that now?" He asked looking right into her brown eyes.

She was lost for words.

_Fucking say something sexy or smart._

"I…I uh…um." She bit her lip.

_I'm so fucking dumb._

"You have mumbled quite a lot, Isabella. Yet, you managed to produce one word. Please work on your vocabulary," he said turning away, leaving her alone with the dirty apple in her hand.

He was such an asshole.

_Yet, I can't seem to stay mad at him._

Bella rolled her eyes at herself.

"This is going to be harder than I thought," she whispered. She turned back to Alice and noticed Jessica sitting at a table near her, staring back at her. She smiled when she noticed Bella looking at her and shook her head in amusement as she knew what a complete fail Bella was.

~SDFAL~

"Writing is an important tool in life," Mr. Cullen said as he paced back and forth in front of the class like he always did. "It's the way many people have expressed themselves in the past and in the present. It's the only way some have to say what they feel."

Bella stared at him wondering what he liked besides English, fruit bowls and being an asshole. Did he like music? Did he like movies? Was he occasionally nice?

"Isabella," he called making her jump in her seat. She wasn't expecting him to call her name. It was as if he knew that she was thinking about him. Jessica snickered and Alice looked at Bella with confusion.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen?"

"Have you ever written anything in your life, besides silly notes to your friends or text messages?" he asked.

Bella cleared her throat and nerves. "Yeah, I've written stuff."

"For fun?"

"Yes."

"Do you follow the rules?"

"What rules?"

"The rules of writing. Do you have structure? Do you have a thesis? Do you have…?"

"I just write for fun. I'm not looking to have a best seller. Nobody is going to read my stuff. Why should I follow rules? What would be the fun in that?" Bella couldn't believe she had just said that. Now Mr. Cullen was looking at her like she had insulted him.

"No fun, Isabella. But you would teach yourself structure and teach yourself to control your ideas instead of just throwing them on a sheet of paper and making no sense or blurting them out."

Isabella tried not rolling her eyes at Mr. Asshole, but she couldn't help it.

"Class, your assignment, due tomorrow, will be a two page paper explaining and defending your idea on freedom of writing."

The class groaned. Why didn't they expect this? They were ridiculous.

"Ms. Swan, I expect a great argument from you," he said looking directly at her. He smirked and walked to his desk as the bell rang.

Bella felt her face heat up. What did he have against her?

"Bella? Come on," Alice said as she walked to the door. Bella shook her head.

"Wait for me outside," Bella said. Alice furrowed her eyebrows, but didn't argue. She disappeared and it only meant it was time for action.

Bella took a deep breath and looked at Mr. Cullen, who was looking through some papers. She fixed her blue skirt and uniform blouse, hung her backpack from right shoulder and headed to him.

"Mr. Cullen? May I speak with you?" She asked.

He looked up. His green eyes seemed to become deeper each time she looked into them.

"Of course, Isabella." He returned his eyes to his papers.

She was going to confront him. She was going to ask why he hated her so much. She was going to demand to know what the problem was…

"I don't write well."

_What?_

He looked up again and raised one of his eyebrows.

"You told me you wrote."

"Yes, but I never said anything about doing it well."

"Isabella, write me that paper and let me be the judge."

"I need help writing it."

What the hell was she doing?

Going through her plan.

_Oh, I guess this would be good. Get him to help me. That's genius! _

She bit her lip, hoping he got the point and offer his help. But Mr. Cullen wasn't going to fall so easily.

"Isabella, write me that paper. I'll decide if you do need help. Now leave. You're friend is waiting for you," he said. He stood up and led her to the door. "Have a great afternoon, Ms. Swan."

~SDFAL~

"He's hates me! Like I don't know what I did, but he hates me to death!"

Jacob chuckled and sat next to her outside his garage.

"Babe, I'm sure you're being over dramatic."

"Jake, you don't know this guy. He's like the devil."

"Does he have horns and red skin?"

"Now you're being the ass," she huffed and tried to pull away when Jake wrapped his arm around her, but he was too strong, so she found herself under his heavy arm.

"Aw, I'm sorry. It's just silly that you think that Mr. English is after you. Some people are just born assholes. Then some people are born awesome, like you and me."

She giggled when he kissed her forehead.

_I don't want to let you go, but I don't love you. You'll just get hurt. _

_But I can't let you go. Maybe I can keep it from you. You'll never know. It's just going to be a onetime thing anyway._

She sat there, outside Jake's garage, with her head on his chest for a few minutes. He smelled like car oil and musk. He didn't smell good like Mr. Cullen. She wondered if Mr. Cullen had a wife or a girlfriend. She hadn't even thought of that. If it was a wife, she would find another way to hurt her father.

If he had a girlfriend, maybe she could get rid of her.

What would be the difference? She would still be a bitch. But somehow, this didn't bother Bella. She was going through with her plan.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, Jake?"

"Do you think when school is over for the two of us, that you would like to live with me?"

Bella's eyes widened and she looked down at her feet.

"I don't know, Jake."

"Graduation is five months away. You've always said you hate your house and your family. I can start a mechanic shop and we could get ourselves a really nice place. It'll be just you and me. Your step-mother and sister won't ever bother you again. I'll take care of you," Jake said.

Bella smiled at her best friend, took his face in her hands and kissed him on the lips.

"You're the best and the sweetest guy ever, Jake," she said with all honesty.

"So you'll think about it?"

"No, I don't have to. I'll do it."

And at that moment she had meant it.

~SDFAL~

Bella sat in her room, working on Mr. Cullen's assignment. The cigarette in her hand wasn't helping the damn stress she felt getting this paper done. She ran her free hand a thousand times through her hair. She stared at the wall a few times.

Thinking…

Sometimes thinking was just as bad as living.

"_Mom, I wanna be a teacher," seven year old Bella told her mother._

"_Oh, really? That's great! You're a very smart girl." Renee brushed her daughter's hair. "I love you Belly, whatever you want to do when you grow up, will be amazing."_

Yeah, like a good for nothing bitch who plans to cheat on her boyfriend with an older man just to get back at her father?

_Mom would be proud._

"Bella?" Sue's voice made Bella jump. She quickly put the cigarette in the ash tray and opened her window. "Don't worry, Bella. I've known you smoke for the longest time," Sue said sweetly and sat next to her.

"Have you told, Dad?" Bella gulped. She still worried like a fool. It wasn't like he could stop her from doing it, but she just didn't want him to know.

"Why would I?" Sue smiled at Bella and played with the hem of her shirt. She seemed nervous. "It's your decision. I won't tell Charlie. I promise."

"Fine," Bella muttered, unsure if she should believe Sue. "What are you doing in my room, Sue?"

Sue cleared her throat and smiled once again. "I just wanted to let you know that I truly care for you, Bella. I've seen you grow up to be such a beautiful young woman. I always loved babysitting you. You were such a lovely little girl. I've never meant you any harm. I'm sorry my daughter isn't nice with you most of the time."

"Your apologies won't change how I feel about what happened or what you did to my mother."

"I know and for that I'm sorry."

"Good, now leave."

"Okay," Sue said disappointedly and stood up, ready to leave. "Bella, please always remember what I've told you," she said and finally left Bella's room.

Bella threw her pen at the closed door and lit another cigarette.

~SDFAL~

"The grades were horrible!" Mr. Cullen was pissed. His hair was a damn mess. The amount of times he ran his hands through it made Bella giggle.

She sat back in her seat listening as Mr. Cullen's high voice made everyone lower their heads. He was an intimidating man and he knew it. He used it to make them feel small.

"You guys are about to graduate high school and have failed to write a two page essay. We have so much work ahead of us! Starting Monday, every day, I will stay one hour after school for tutoring. Come if you wish to graduate. Class dismissed." He ran a hand across his forehead and huffed his way to his desk.

Bella stared at the C+ in her hand and sighed. She knew she filled that paper with bullshit and that she could have done it better. Yet, without realizing it, she had just given herself a way to get to spend time with Mr. Cullen.

She stood up and followed Alice out the door.

"See you Monday, Mr. Cullen," Bella said in such a sweet voice it caused for Mr. Cullen to raise his head and look her way.

He just nodded and looked away.

"I think I'm gonna stay for tutoring next Monday," Bella told Alice as they drove home.

"What? Since when are you all into your study? And with Mr. Ass Cullen?"

"Alice, I made a C, I need to improve my grade."

"Well, I made a high B, so I guess you're right, but don't come bitching to me that Mr. Cullen is an asshole, because we already know that."

"Whatever."

~SDFAL~

Bella didn't talk to Charlie all weekend. She ignored him or at times avoided seeing him. She was afraid that he would see it in her face. He would see her evil intentions.

It was silly of her to think this, but she wasn't going to let anything get in the way of her plans.

She investigated the Cullens a bit more.

It seemed that Carlisle Cullen owned his own business and was freaking rich out of his mind. He had dropped out of med school when he inherited his father's money and started the business with Charlie that eventually made Charlie bankrupt. His wife, Esme Cullen, was the daughter of another wealthy family and worked as an interior designer. They only had one son, Edward.

There was nothing on Edward, Bella could find. He graduated high in his class and wasn't married. He didn't live with his parents since he left for college and where exactly he lived was unknown. By the looks of it, he didn't live in town.

That's all that she could manage to scoop up.

He was a mystery and a bit strange.

Charlie had a lot of pictures of Carlisle and Esme, but only one of a very young Edward. It was from his high school graduation. He stood awkwardly with both his parents at his side. They were the only ones smiling. He looked straight at the camera with that same hard and cold look Bella had learned to expect from him. He only looked much younger and strangely thinner. He was still thin, but his youthful body remained in that photo. In the background, Bella could read "Class of 2001."

"So if he was 18 in the year 2001, he must be 28 now," Bella said to herself, not sure if the age difference bothered her. He seemed a little younger than his age, but it didn't change that he was ten years older than her.

Would he even look at her that way?

He seemed like a smart guy. Why in the world would he fall for a young, stupid, immature girl?

"For love?" Bella giggled to herself at the silly idea.

"That would be so stupid. My only chance is to get him hot and bothered. Love isn't real. It would never happen between him and me."

~SDFAL~

On Monday, Jessica asked Bella to talk.

"Look, all I want to know is if you're really into the bet?" She asked.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yes. How many times do I have to repeat myself?"

"Just wanna know if you haven't backed out yet. He's a tough match. I honestly wish you luck," Jessica said with a hint of sarcasm and left Bella in the girl's restroom.

Mr. Cullen looked exhausted during English. He talked for a few minutes and let the class start on another paper he had assigned.

He spent the rest of the class period at his desk, with a worried look on his face.

Bella couldn't stop staring at him. She wondered what was wrong with him. She wondered if it even mattered.

The class bell rang and everyone exited out, except Bella. She had told Alice to come pick her up an hour later.

Mr. Cullen stood up and looked at Bella who gave him a shy smile.

"I'll be back. I'm going to make a quick call and give more students time to get here," he said and exited the class.

Bella sighed and opened up her notebook pretending to get to work. In reality she was plotting ways to get Mr. Cullen to feel comfortable with her. They had to start slow, she realized this.

He wasn't going to fall at her feet right away.

She fixed her blouse, opening up the first few buttons to reveal her pearly skin. She checked her make-up that she never wore. She hated the goo Alice called mascara, but she realized it did make her eyelashes longer. She hated the eyeliner and the crap that covered her freckles, but she looked pretty.

That's what men want, right?

Whatever it took.

"Hey, Bella. Where is Mr. Cullen?" Mike asked bringing Bella away from her mirror. "Isn't he starting tutoring today?"

Bella didn't want Mike Newton in class while she tried to seduce Mr. Cullen. He would ruin everything.

"No!" The word slipped from her mouth awkwardly, making Mike furrowed his eyebrows.

"Then what are you doing in here?" He asked.

"Oh…well...um…I have to finish my paper and he let me stay until I finish. But he cancelled tutoring because he needs to leave early…" Bella was a horrible liar, but Mike nodded and believed her.

"Oh, well. I'll come tomorrow. Thanks Bells," he said and left.

Bella gave three more people the same lie and each time, she patted herself on the back for how great she sounded. She was getting better at this.

She was getting good at lying.

Her lies flowed and escaped her mouth so freely and they all fell for it. They all believed her. They all fell for her lies and it was so easy.

Soon Mr. Cullen would fall for them too.

A few minutes later, a much more tired looking Mr. Cullen walked in and abruptly stopped at the doorstep when he realized Bella was his only student.

"Nobody has come?" He asked and Bella shook her head. He sighed and headed towards his desk.

"I guess it's just you and me, Mr. Cullen," she said sweetly.

"Yeah, I guess it is."

Bella smiled at the task at hand and bit her lip.

It would be slow and easy.

All she had to do was lie.

**So well Mr. Cullen fall soon? Or will it be hard work for Bella?**

**Let me know what you think.**

**This story was inspired by the song **_**Liar **_**by Mumford and Sons and **_**Until We Bleed **_**by Lykki Li.**

**Both awesome songs.**

**Follow me at /at/stewluv4eva**


	3. Psycho

**Thank you for everyone that has reviewed, favorite, and saved to alerts. It makes my heart happy…it really does.**

**Another chapter…I'm proud of myself. I've updated once a week so far. Let's cheer for me to keep it up! Lol**

**Thanks to my friend and beta edwardrocksmysocks and her new puppy who is a total cutie pie.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 3-Psycho<p>

It had been exactly ten minutes since Edward had entered the classroom and Bella had only managed to get him to say a few words.

He now sat at his desk, looking exhausted, yet beautiful. He took a deep breath, ran a hand through his hair and finally looked up at her.

"Isabella?"

"Yes?" She had no idea what was going on with him. His eyes were soft and sad. He didn't wear that arrogance on his face or body that made him the topic of discussion during lunch.

He seemed vulnerable.

He seemed wounded.

She almost felt…pity for him.

"Bring your graded paper with you. I'll get you a chair," he said and pulled one of the ugly yellow classroom chairs by his side. "There is no point in me standing and yelling across the room when you are my only student here."

Bella didn't argue. She was still taken back by his sudden mood change.

It was a calm mood.

That didn't seem to happen that much with Mr. Cullen.

"Here, let me have it," he said pointing at the paper coveredwith red ink.

She handed him the paper as she sat down. The paper trembled in her hand as he took it. She didn't understand her nerves. He was just her teacher.

Yet, she now felt embarrassed by her grade. She wished she would have done better.

_He must think I'm an idiot._

She didn't want him to think that. She wanted to impress him.

_Why? A good grade and a few good words on a piece of paper won't get him hot and bothered. He'll just pat you on the back and say "good job kid."_

Bella ignored her inner voice when she inhaled his scent. How was it possible that it was the end of a very long day and he still smelled fresh and amazing?

"This is a great thesis," he said pointing at the sentence she had spent the most time creating, "but your whole paper lacks power. You give me a great opinion and idea, but you don't prove to me that what you're saying is true. I don't believe you."

"That's because you don't agree with me," she cringed at her word vomit. Thinking Mr. Cullen had lost his patience and calm mood, Bella looked down at her hands in her lap.

She sucked at this seducing thing. Her true inner shy girl appeared and kicked convinced and rebellious Bella in the ass.

He did this to her. He made her feel small and insignificant. The shadow of his tall frame, even as he sat, hovered over her. They way he smelled, brushed his hair and the way he dressed, seemed too good to be true. How was she, plain Bella Swan, going to seduce this older, much smarter man, just to get back at her father?

It seemed impossible and silly to even consider.

She nervously bit her lip and kept waiting for his usual harsh words.

But they never came.

"Actually, I agree with you completely," he said and chuckled with that velvety voice that she had discovered just now when he was calm.

"Really?"

"Yes, but you fail to support your answer. I can't do that for you. You have to learn to defend yourself in a smarter way, Isabella. These words belong to a stereotypical teenage girl with daddy and mommy issues and not the brilliant girl you are."

_Fuck_

_He really thinks I'm brilliant?_

Bella smiled at him, but he turned his attention back to the paper and pointed at a sentence he had underlined with his red pen.

"I can see brilliance under the rough surface that is your entire paper. You see here, this sentence makes me nod in agreement with you. It's a small hint of who you truly are as a writer. You lied to me, Isabella. You said you didn't write well. You do, all you need is support and a strong defense."

He scratched his cheek, his nails making noise against his stubble. The dark circles under his eyes made the green from his eyes deeper and his pouty lips and thick furrowed eyebrows made his face so poetic.

As if God wanted to say something beautiful with his face to the world.

Or to her…

She closed her mouth, realizing she had it opened. She continued to listen to him explain what her paper lacked and needed. His velvety voice made her young and immature words seem important and beautiful. He made it seem as if she was actually a good writer. She could spend her life listening to his voice reading a damn text book.

"I want you to re-write this paper. Bring it with you tomorrow. Can you stay for tutoring again?" He asked and she quickly nodded. "We'll see what you can do. Defend your words, Isabella. Pretend that they are your children and the world is trying to make them insignificant. Like a great mother, you defend them, but like a great writer, you use that passion with intelligence so nobody doubts you."

"But they are just my opinions. They hold no great importance," she said. He shook his head, handing the paper back to her.

"Exactly, they are your opinions, but they are _yours_ and that's what matters. They are important enough for you to defend them so stand up and do it. They aren't just some sweet dreams. They are your true beliefs."

~SDFA~

Bella spent her entire afternoon revising her paper. She got lost in her words and in remembering his. She didn't stop until her pen ran out of ink and her mind out of ideas.

The next day, she found herself excited about English class. She never thought she would be this giddy to have Mr. Cullen see her paper.

Alice talked and talked during lunch and Bella felt guilty she had listened to only half of what her friend had said, but she kept scanning the cafeteria for Mr. Cullen.

When he did make his appearance, Bella found herself battling a smile from appearing on her face. He had been nice to her once and she already thought it was the best thing in the world. She was ridiculous, but she didn't care.

What _was_ the best thing in the world was how he looked in white button up shirt and black pants. He was well shaven and his usual mess of hair made his look complete. He grabbed a sandwich from the lunch line and sat by himself.

Bella stared at him the rest of the lunch hour, not feeling at all bad about it.

He simply poked at his sandwich and stared at the table he sat at.

Bella wished she knew him more. She wished a comfort level existed where she could just go up to him and ask him what had him so down. She had discovered a lighter version of him the day before. What had him looking like there was no hope, now? One day she would ask and he would answer.

But not yet.

He was his usual self in class.

Griping about how nobody paid attention. He directed his frustration to the board, making everyone copy every little word he angrily chalked down. He tried not to roll his eyes when Mike Newton tried explaining Jack Kerouac, but Bella could see his annoyance for the silly boy with silly ideas.

_Why in the world is he an English teacher? It seems that he could do so much better than being a simple high school babysitter. They don't understand him._

_Do you?_

_I do._

"Tutoring today and I expect people to actually attend this time," he said.

Bella avoided Mike Newton. He would probably question Mr. Cullen's words and ask her in return why she had lied about no tutoring the day before.

Mike Newton and few other students stayed after class. Mr. Cullen had each one go to his desk and explained why they got the low grade he had given them and what they lacked. But he never spoke to them as passionately as he had done with her.

This made Bella smile. She purposely volunteered to go last as once Mr. Cullen was done with each student, they would leave. She would be all by herself with him.

When he was done with the last student, he turned and looked at Bella who gave him a nervous smile that he didn't return.

_Of course he wouldn't._

Her palms were sweaty and her legs were wobbly as she made her way to his desk. She took a deep breath and sat down next to him.

She couldn't help but notice how much younger he looked without stubble. She ran her greedy eyes up and down his defined, clean jaw as he read her paper.

He hummed a few times and wrote a few things on each page.

She rubbed her hands together, anxiously waiting for his final verdict. She had worked so hard on that paper. It would break her heart if he didn't like it. She didn't know why she cared so much that he approved of it but she hoped with all his heart that he would continue to think that she was brilliant.

He placed the paper down on his desk and gave her a B-. Bella furrowed her eyebrows in disappointment as he handed it back to her.

"You gave me a B?"

"Isabella, a B- is good grade," he simply said.

"No, it's a grade you give someone who tried but failed. I tried very hard. I don't think I failed." She didn't understand why she was so upset. It was ridiculous that this grade would make her eyes fill with tears.

_I'm such a stupid little girl. He knows it. He realizes he was wrong calling me brilliant. _

"Isabella, you did much better this time around, but your conclusion didn't have closure. You left me in the limbo of your thoughts," he said sternly.

"Because of one paragraph, you're going to judge my whole paper?"

"It's just not a simple paragraph; these are your final comments. If you died tomorrow, your last words would be these? You would really be satisfied with these four short sentences that say nothing more than what you have already said throughout the other paragraphs?"

"I'm not going to die tomorrow and this is just a stupid school assignment." She stood up, snatched the paper from his desk and angrily wiped her tears away.

"I didn't mean to upset you," he said softly.

"Whatever, you're just a psycho. You fill my head with good comments about me and then you come back and take them away. Keep them to yourself next time," she yelled and ran out of the classroom.

She didn't want to wait for Alice, so she walked home, sending her a text to forget it. She walked in the mist of Forks, Washington for a few minutes, mentally torturing herself about how silly and immature she had acted.

_You called him a psycho? Are you stupid?_

_Obviously, I am. It's just a grade. But he said I was smart. I guess not smart enough. I'm acting like a child. He'll never like me this way. _

_Why should he? There is nothing likable about you. You're a liar and a horrible person._

Bella continued walking and thinking. Her thoughts never became positive. Her uniform was soaked and her hair a wet mess. She sighed. Home was still a long way to go.

She could call Alice back.

A car's honk made Bella jump.

A silver Volvo pulled up to her side. She didn't recognize the car. It was Forks; everyone knew what everyone else drove. So this frightened her.

Her beat raced inside her chest, until Mr. Cullen lowered the passenger window to reveal his beautiful, concerned face.

"Isabella, its cold and wet outside, let me give you a ride to your house," he said.

She didn't move. She was still shocked it was actually him.

He misunderstood her uneasiness and sighed.

"Isabella, don't be so prideful. It never did anybody any good. Jump into the car."

She sighed and opened the passenger door.

"I'm sorry I'm ruining your seat," she said.

He smiled and shook his head. "Its leather, Isabella, I'm pretty sure it will be alright."

She nervously played with the hem of her sweater.

_Why does he make me so nervous?_

"So you mind telling where you live?" He asked.

She blushed in embarrassment and sat up in her seat. "Um do you know where Chief Swan lives?"

"Yeah, wait…oh, you're the chief's daughter?" He didn't let her answer and chuckled. It was a beautiful sound. "Of course you are. Swan isn't a very common name. I never thought of it."

_Did he know her dad? Did his father speak to him about Charlie? Did the Cullens hate the Swans just like Charlie hated them?_

"You know him?" She nervously asked, hating how her voice cracked.

"No, I mean, I just know he's the chief of police," he simply said.

They drove in silence with only the noise of the rain drops hitting the Volvo.

She turned to look at him. He was always a sight to see. His reddish hair, now damp and darker and his eyes concentrated on the road ahead of him.

"I'm sorry I called you a psycho," she mumbled.

He smirked and shook his head. "It's quite alright, Isabella. I might have deserved it." He was being playful, even funny.

She smiled, but quickly cleared her throat.

He was so frustrating.

"Why do you do that?" She asked.

"Do what?"

"Your mood swings! One moment you're yelling at the class or at me. Another, you're looking depressed at your sandwich and before I know it, you act so kind. It gives me whiplash," she said, taking a deep breath afterwards.

"It must be exhausting being my student," he said with a smile.

"Very."

"I would apologize, but I'm a psycho. I think it's in my nature to act this way," he teased.

"You're not a psycho. You're just putting up walls. It's not so bad being nice once in a while and actually being liked by your students, you know."

"I'm just an old bitter man."

"You're not Mr. Banner either," she said, making him chuckle. "Besides, you're not that old."

He furrowed his eyebrows and licked his lips. "How old do you think I am?"

She wasn't going to reveal that she had been stalking his life and that she knew he was 28. So she decided to take a wrong guess.

"25?"

"Thank you, but no. I'm 27."

_He isn't 28 as I had assumed. A number off. I guess he graduated when he was 17. Nine years isn't so bad…is it?_

"That's still young."

"It is, but I feel too old sometimes," he said.

She didn't quite understand why he was being so open now. He would change back to his moody self tomorrow. She decided to get ready for it. She wouldn't let him affect her again.

They finally made it to her house. Charlie's car was gone as well as Sue's minivan. She was probably picking Leah up from the reservation. Bella was just grateful nobody was there to see Mr. Cullen.

"Why don't you drive like most kids your age?" He asked.

She ignored that he had called her a kid and looked away. She bit her lip. It didn't matter who asked her, it always ached in her chest.

She was afraid to admit that she was screwed up in the head. She was embarrassed that she was scared to drive.

"I have a truck. I just don't drive, because," she wasn't ready to share that with anybody, especially him. "It's a long story," she muttered.

He nodded. "It's alright; you don't have to share anything with me if you don't want to."

"Thank you," she said, softly. "And thank you for the ride. Have a good afternoon, Mr. Cullen."

"You too, Isabella."

She exited his car and stayed outside to see it disappear down the street.

Bella decided not to give up. She spent another afternoon on her paper.

She would show Mr. Cullen who she was. She was going to show him that she was smart and that she could end her paper with a proper conclusion. Though nothing in her life did have closure or a conclusion, she would give her paper one.

She was so busy and lost in her paper that she ignored her father's footsteps as he made his way into her room.

"Bells?"

She jumped and angrily looked at him.

"You scared me!" She protested. "You could have at least knocked! What if I was naked?"

"I'm sorry, but I was afraid you wouldn't let me in," Charlie said. He buried his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He had always been a shy and quiet man. He was never up for confrontation. Not even against his daughter. "You haven't spoken to me in days, Bells. I know you're mad at me, but you gotta eat, honey."

"I'm not hungry and I'm busy with homework."

"Sue made your favorite, mushroom ravioli."

"Mom made it better." Bella was being a bitch, she knew it, but didn't care.

Charlie sighed. He didn't know what else to do, but he couldn't stand that his daughter was mad at him. It was too painful.

"She did. Renee also cooked a wonderful chocolate cake. She was also funny and loved you so much. She also knew how to dance and loved to try and show you. But she isn't here anymore," Charlie said.

Bella could feel the tears running down her cheeks. It ached so much when people talked about her mother or when things reminded her of what used to be with her around. She sat on her bed and covered her face with her hands. She felt when Charlie sat next to her, but didn't move.

He wanted to hug her and comfort her, but he was so bad at it.

He kept his arms and warmth to himself.

"You have to let her go, Bells. She would have wanted you to move on."

"I can't," Bella sobbed. "I miss her so much. It hurts to even think about her."

"I know, baby girl."

"No! Don't you dare say that!" She stood up and angrily looked at him. "You don't know how I feel. You don't know anything, because once Mom was six feet underground, you moved your new family into my home and replaced her and in a way replaced me. So go! Go have dinner with _your _family!"

She didn't care that Charlie was now crying. She didn't care that her words were hurting him. Her pain made her selfish and so angry.

He slowly stood up and left her room.

She went to sleep with an empty stomach, a heartache and her mother's photo held tightly to her chest.

~SDFAL~

Bella didn't care about make-up or looking good the next morning. She ignored Alice, when she mentioned that she looked like crap. She also ignored her teachers and when Mike asked her out during biology.

"It's alright. Maybe another day," he said.

"Mike, I have a boyfriend."

"Yeah, but you're never with him. Besides, I bet I'm more fun than Jacob."

Bella sighed. "I bet, but I'm not trying to find out. So just cut the frog open already," she muttered.

"I can't, you told me to make the notes, so you have to do it. Besides, I have shaky hands."

He was such a pussy.

Bella rolled her eyes at him and shoved him out of the way with her shoulder. She grabbed the scalpel and stared at the frog.

_That's fucking gross. Jesus…ugh…oh my God._

She held her breath.

"I mean, we could go watch a movie or something. I could borrow my dad's car and we could drive to Port Angeles and go to the drive-in."

"Mike, would you just shut up. I have to concentrate." Her hands trembled.

Her heart was racing, wanting to pound its way out of her chest cavity.

She foolishly closed her eyes and aimed at the frog in blindness.

"You didn't do anything to it," Mike mumbled, "you have to do it harder."

"I'm trying," she spat.

She did it again, but somehow the scalpel slipped in her hand.

She felt the cool breeze of the classroom deep in her wound.

_Shit…I'm bleeding? Really? This would happen to me. Fuck, I hate blood. It smells…_

"Oh crap, Bella, you're bleeding."

Bella heard him, but his voice seemed to be so far. She was sure that he was standing right next to her. The room started to spin.

"I don't feel so good," she moaned.

"Mike, walk Bella to the nurse," Mr. Banner said as he placed a paper towel over the cut on her hand.

"Um…ok," he said. He sounded uncertain of wanting the task.

Bella didn't want to walk with him. He could go to hell for all she cared.

"I can do it myself," she slurred. On wobbly legs she made it to the hall. She could hear Mike behind her, swearing he would help her. "Just get away from me, Mike."

"You need help."

"Not yours!"

"Let me help you."

"No, get away from me," she said. She was too distracted with trying not to pass out and making Mike go away, that she didn't notice the person turning the corner.

She bumped right into his chest. Already weak on her feet, Bella fell on her bottom.

"Crap," she moaned.

"Isabella, are you okay?"

_Of course it would be him. Besides thinking I'm a moron, he thinks I'm a weak, ditzy girl._

_Fuck my life._

"I'm fine," she muttered as she tried to get up.

"She's bleeding, Mr. Cullen," Mike said.

"What? Why?"

Bella was confused. She was sure she heard anger in Mr. Cullen's voice.

_Why is he mad?_

"Biology…she cut herself. She got sick with the blood…I was just helping her get to the nurse."

"Apparently you're not doing a good job, Mr. Newton as Isabella is now on the floor," Mr. Cullen spat.

_Aw, there he is. Mr. Ogre, Mr. Ass, Mr. Arrogance and Mr. Beautiful all in one was back. Fuck, I missed him. _

Bella suddenly felt Mr. Cullen place her arms around his neck and place his arm under her knees. He picked her up. Her head fell against his chest and she closed her eyes.

_Oh my God, he smells and feels great._

_Shit, he picked me up?_

"Go to class, Mr. Newton. I'll take Isabella to the nurse."

Mike protested, but Mr. Cullen ignored him and walked toward the nurse.

"Now I owe you two," she mumbled.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Why?"

"You gave me a ride after I called you a psycho and an ogre. And now you saved me from moronic Mike Newton."

Edward smiled. It was a beautiful sight. Bella, even in her dazed state of mind could see it and knew that it was genuine. She would record it in her mind and keep it forever.

"I recall you calling me a psycho, but not an ogre."

"Oh, crap…that was in my mind. Sorry about that and the other names I've called you in my mind."

He laughed. "I forgive you, Isabella. I've been called worse."

"I bet."

He smiled down her, directing his eyes right into hers. His green eyes were so bright today. She held back the need to caress her face.

_You're so beautiful, Mr. Cullen._

He smiled again and finally looked away.

Bella didn't realize she had passed out. She snapped her eyes open to find herself alone in the nurse's office.

"Crap," she muttered as she sat up. Her head was pounding and getting up so quick didn't help. She looked around and noticed her books and backpack were on the small couch in the corner of the office.

The door suddenly opened and Mr. Cullen walked in.

"Oh good, you're awake," he said, pulled a chair next to her and sat down.

"How long was I out?"

"Ten minutes."

"What? It feels like it has been hours."

He shook his head.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have English to teach?" She didn't know where she had found this bravery to talk to him like this.

He just smirked. "The nurse was out. So I volunteered to look after you. It's my lunch hour so there is no problem."

She held her bandaged hand up.

"So if the nurse is out…"

"I did that. My father went to medical school and would practice on me. You know, wrapping bandages and such."

"How covenant."

"Sure is."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

"And for the record, you're not the ogre I thought you were."

"Not today at least," he said, making her smile.

"Just throw me a warning when you're in one of your moods."

"That wouldn't be fair to the other students, would it now?"

"Who cares about them?"

"I do, of course."

"Uh huh."

"Speaking of which, Ms. Swan, I have something for you." He stood up and went to her stuff on the couch. He grabbed a paper and handed it to her.

It was her paper.

She smiled at the red _A-_at the top right corner.

"You couldn't just give me an _A+_?"

"What would be the fun in that?"

She smiled and rolled her eyes.

"It was a great paper. You're an amazing writer, Ms. Swan. Just keep at it."

"Do you really think I'm brilliant?"

He smiled at her and gently placed a strand of her curls behind her ear. She could feel the chills run across her skin.

_What the hell was that?_

"Of course. You're different, Isabella Swan. You're a good kid."

Her smile disappeared at the word.

"Don't call me that."

"Call you what?"

"A kid…I'm eighteen and not a child."

"I apologize, Isabella. I didn't mean to offend you."

"It's okay; I'm just overreacting as usual. Thank you for everything."

~SDFAL~

After English, another group of students stayed behind for tutoring. Bella once again volunteered to go last. She had made a B+ on her second paper, but wanted to know what she could do better.

_Whatever, you just want to sniff the man and stare at him._

_Oh, shut up! _

"Isabella, your grade was good this time around," Mr. Cullen said confused as she brought her paper to him.

"I know, but if it was brilliant, I would have made an A. I want to be brilliant."

He smirked and took her paper. He was smiling a lot lately. She wondered if it was because he liked her. He didn't smile in class or anywhere else. He still acted like an asshole to students and had lunch by himself, ignoring the other school staff.

Maybe he liked her.

Bella smiled at the thought.

_I must be somewhat likeable. He wouldn't smile with me like this._

"There were a few times where you gave me an opinion on the story, but you didn't back it up with quotes or passages from the actual book. You could also use historical facts from the 1950s."

"That's true."

"What?" He asked surprised. By his smile, it was evident that he was teasing her.

"Yes, I'm agreeing with you, Mr. Cullen. I see your point," Bella said dryly.

"Why thank you," he said, making her roll her eyes.

He was about to say something else when his phone began to vibrate on top of his desk. He grabbed it and his smile and good mood disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"Forgive me, Isabella, I must take this call," he said with worry in his voice and rushed out the classroom.

Bella stayed in the room for a few minutes. She wondered who had called that caused him to leave in such a hurry.

_Is it a girlfriend?_

Anger and jealousy ran through Bella.

_You're an idiot. He doesn't belong to you._

_He could, though. Besides, I'm his student. He should give me all his attention._

Ten long minutes had passed. Bella decided to go look for Mr. Cullen.

The hall was empty, so she decided to walk around.

An empty school always freaked her out.

During the day, it was full of noisy students and now, it was silent and lonely.

The only noise came from her uniform shoes as they walked on the recently moped floor.

She passed a few empty halls and was beginning to lose hope, when she heard a low noise that sounded like someone sobbing.

She hurried towards the noise and finally reached the last hall of the school.

There, on the floor, with his back against the lockers and his knees pulled up to his chest, was Mr. Cullen.

He rocked back and forth, heaving for air and grunting in pain.

She rushed to him, falling on her knees by his side.

"Mr. Cullen, are you alright? What's wrong?" She was in panic mode. She tried to soothe his pain by rubbing his back, but it wasn't helping.

"I…I…God…I forgot to take my…my medication…and my mother…she…ugh…help me, Isabella. I can't move...I can't take it."

He begged, roughly taking one of her hands with his right. He pulled on it, making Bella hum in pain, but she wanted nothing more than to help him.

"What do I do, Mr. Cullen? Please tell me," she cried.

He banged his head against the lockers and held on to his chest with his free hand.

"My mother is in the hospital again," he said breathless. "I need to get there. But I can't move. I can't breathe, I can't…" He began to sob.

Bella took his face in her hands and looked directly into his reddened eyes.

"Tell me what I need to do to help you!"

"My pills…there in the right drawer of my desk."

Letting go of his hand, she ran to his classroom, dug into his desk and found the brown bottle with a white label. They were prescription drugs. She didn't take the time to read the label and rushed back to him.

He desperately took the bottle from her hands and shoved a few pills into his mouth.

He dry swallowed them and took deep breaths, still grabbing onto his chest.

"What's wrong, Mr. Cullen? Are you okay? Is your mom okay?"

"Probably, this is routine for her, but we never know. We never know if it's serious until the doctors look at her. I need to see her."

"Okay, are you okay to make it there?"

"The pills take a few minutes to kick in. I can't trust myself like this," he said holding his shaky hands in front of him.

"So…so…what are we gonna do?"

"Can you give me a ride, Isabella? Please," he cried.

Bella took a deep breath…

"_Mom, why are you so angry?"_

"_Bella, baby, I can't talk right now."_

"_But you're driving so fast!"_

"_We're leaving Forks for a little while."_

"_Why?"_

"_I need to go to Seattle."_

"_Now? And in such a hurry?"_

"_Yes, I need to get away from this town."_

"_What about school? What about Dad?"_

_Renee didn't say anything. _

_She never got the chance to say anything else again._

"Isabella?" Mr. Cullen called her name.

"Your mom needs you?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll drive you there." She took a deep breath.

* * *

><p><strong>What the heck is up with Edward? Sorry…Mr. Cullen…<strong>

**Please leave me a review. I'm shamelessly begging now. It's the only motivation I have folks! Let me know if you still hate Bella or if you think there is something wrong with Mr. Cullen…anything! Lol**

**Until next time :)**


	4. A Small Victory

**Hello guys! **

**WOW! The love you guys show me is amazing! Please know that if I don't reply, it just means I didn't get a chance, but I do read and appreciate every single word you leave me.**

**Thanks to edwardrocksmysocks for revising my stuff. You're trully awesome.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 4- A Small Victory<p>

When Bella was eleven years old, Renee thought it would be a great idea for her to try her hand at driving. "You're so bright and good at everything already, honey" she would keep saying until Bella obliged.

Bella believed everything her mother would say. She could have said sheep fell in love and she would have believed it.

The truth was, Bella had always been a small child and not very good at most things she tried.

Renee lied.

Bella couldn't reach the pedals or see the road well enough sitting in her mother's 1985 Honda Civic and ended up scrapping the side of the car with a tree.

Renee didn't get mad. She never got mad. Instead, she comforted her daughter and let her cry on her shoulder while assuring her that Charlie wouldn't care.

Charlie did get mad, but Renee blamed herself for the accident and winked at her daughter. She spent the rest of the night cooking Charlie's favorite brownies and another batch with fudge just for Bella.

The car was never fixed.

Bella never became a good driver after a few more tries.

She gave it up after _that_ day.

The day when she lost the Honda Civic and her mother...

But here she was, parked in Forks Medical Hospital, with her own two hands gripping the steering wheel of Mr. Cullen's Volvo for dear life.

"Are you okay, Isabella?" Edward asked, bringing Bella back into reality.

"Yes…I-I-I think so," she muttered. She took a deep breath and released the death grip she had on the wheel. Her sweaty hands ached, her heart hammered against her chest, but she had made it. She would have smiled and cheered herself on, but next to her was Mr. Cullen, worried for his mother's health.

"Has Alice texted or called you to let you know if she's here?" He asked.

Bella had called Alice before leaving school and had asked her to pick her up at the hospital, ignoring all of Alice's inquisitiveness of course. They had made plans to meet at the lobby once Bella arrived.

Bella looked at the phone she had forgotten about in the stressful journey from the school to the hospital. She nodded as she read Alice's message and placed it back into her pocket. "Yes, she's in the lobby," she whispered.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" He asked again.

"Are _you_ okay?"

He looked away and looked at his hands. They had stopped shaking and his breathing was back to normal. His forehead shined with sweat, his unbuttoned shirt was wrinkled, and his hair was a mess; the victim of his nervous hands.

"Okay as I'll ever be," he said lowly and refused to look at her. He placed a hand over hers and took a deep breath. "Thank you, Isabella. You're a good person. You should be home by now; instead you're here with me."

"I don't mind," she whispered.

"I owe you so much. Than k you again," he said and finally looked up. He gave her a warm smile, his eyes stayed on hers a minute too long and it didn't feel wrong at all. They made her feel safe, comfortable and giddy. She would stare at them all day if the usual nerves and blush didn't take over her.

Bella smiled back and internally cheered. He thought positively of her. She was a good person in his eyes, not just some stupid kid as everyone else saw her.

They walked side by side towards the entrance of the hospital. He kept looking around and running his hands through his hair. She wondered if he felt embarrassed or uncomfortable with her. She had witnessed something probably only his family knew about. Though she didn't know exactly what it was, she knew something serious about him and that probably made him feel uneasy.

She didn't want that.

"Isabella?" He stopped in front of the doors and looked down at the shorter Bella who nervously awaited his next words. "Could you please keep this to yourself? I don't want anybody to know what happen to me or about my mother…or that you gave me a ride," he said, looking sadly at her. He turned away with the last sentence.

"I won't tell anybody," she promised.

"Please, Isabella, I thank you with all my heart and I am in great debt with you, but I don't want people thinking the wrong thing because we are out of school. You probably don't understand what the issue is. You're just a kid, but…"

Shit, she hated when people called her that.

Bella just nodded, gulped down the disappointment in her throat and looked down at her uniform shoes. They were dirty and needed some serious cleaning.

She just wanted him to say goodbye. It made her mad and hurt her feelings that he wanted to get rid of her and quiet her like she was some stupid child after what she did for him.

"You can trust me," she said and handed him back the keys to his car. "I hope your mother is okay." With that, she entered the hospital without waiting for him or saying goodbye and headed for the lobby.

"Why the hell did you make me come here? You freaked me out! I thought something horrible had happened to you or something!" For such a small size, Alice shouted very loudly.

"Alice, calm down." Bella sighed as she finally reached her friend. "It's a long story, but a sick friend from school…well not really a friend, well um…he got sick and asked me to bring him to the hospital."

Alice didn't answer and instead stared at her friend with wide eyes and mouth open.

"You drove?" She whispered. Bella just nodded. "Why? What friend? I know all of your friends because they are my friends too."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Just some kid that went to Mr. Cullen's tutoring class. Can you please take me home now?" Bella headed toward the exit hoping they didn't bump into Mr. Cullen or that Alice didn't catch her lie.

"So you're not gonna tell me the name of this friend that finally got you to drive?" Alice, once again, asked.

"No!"

"Fine, beyatch! Just wondering."

"Do you wanna hang out with Jake?"

"What? And get high and drunk…or both?"

"Yes."

"Sure."

~SDFAL~

Bella had never been a fan of drugs. She hated not having full control. She hated how she felt so calm and lazy. She hated how her eyes threatened to close on their own and how her head felt so heavy on her shoulders while her mind easily lost itself.

But she stopped thinking.

That's all that mattered.

"No fucking way!"

"Yes! He ate the whole hotdog!"

She could hear Alice, Jake and Paul laughing loudly at their own stupidity.

"I'm just gonna lay down," she heard herself slur as she lay on Jake's couch. The ceiling was spinning and she didn't feel so good. She felt a cushion stabbing her ribs and pulled it out of its uncomfortable position.

She examined it for a while, recognizing the flowery design and bad stitching.

_Mom  
><em>

"Bella drove?"

"Yes! She said a friend she met in Mr. Cullen's class got sick, so she drove him to the hospital."

"That's weird. Bella hasn't driven in fucking years."

"Yeah, since you …know who…died."

"Wow."

"I know."

"It _was_ a pretty nasty accident. Imagine being part of it and surviving it, but your mom dies. That must suck."

"Paul, shut up. Bella might hear you. You know she doesn't like people talking about that," Jake whispered.

_Mom made this cushion. She made it when she learned to use her sewing machine. _

"Why do you have this?" Bella suddenly yelled, stopping the round of giggles from the group that had been directed at another stupid story Paul was sharing. She stood up and held the cushion in front of Jacob's face.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He asked.

"I fucking asked you a question, Jacob! Where did you get this? My mom made this! It belonged to her, so why do you have it?"

"Um…uh…your dad."

"What?"

"Your dad was cleaning out some stuff out of the attic a few weeks ago, when Billy and I went over for dinner that day. You weren't home yet. He said he was trying to get rid of some stuff and Billy wanted a cushion for his back. So your dad gave him that one."

Bella shook with anger, her eyes blurry with unshed tears.

"You can have it back, babe. I didn't know it belonged to your mom," Jake whispered. He was worried for her.

He was always worried.

Bella didn't answer and instead ran out of Jacob's house and headed towards the road.

"Bella!" Alice called out. "Bella, hold on! Home is so fucking far!"

Bella stopped and made it to Alice's car instead.

"Then take me home."

"But I'm still highly buzzed. It isn't safe."

"Don't be a pussy and take me!"

"Fucking hell!"

The girls made it to Bella's house. Alice continued to mumble profanities and nervously looked around for the chief of police.

"I drove! I can't believe I did that! That's totally fucked up," she said, as she parked.

Bella didn't answer and ran into her house. She wasted no time in running up to the attic to confirm what she feared. She went through all of the boxes that had been marked "M" by her with a black marker when Sue had moved in and her father had asked her to move Renee's stuff.

Most of the boxes were empty.

Her clothes.

Her make-up.

Her magazines.

Her jewelry!

All gone.

She ran down the stairs and found Alice waiting by the door, looking paranoid.

"Bells, come on. Your dad is gonna find us like this and kill us both. Especially if he finds out that I drove!"

"I want to see him!"

"What? Are you crazy?"

In that moment, Sue's red minivan pulled up into the Swan's driveway. Bella shoved Alice out of the way and took giant steps toward her step-mother.

Sue exited the car as did Leah. When she saw Bella, she gave her a smile, but it disappeared when she saw the look on Bella's face.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

"You fucking bitch! Where is it?" Bella yelled, making Sue take a step back, bumping into her minivan. "Where is it?"

"Where is what, honey?"

"Don't call me that! I wanna know where my mom's stuff is!"

"What? I don't…"

"Don't you dare pretend to be dumb and innocent! My Dad fell for that, but not me!"

Bella suddenly felt a hand around her arm. It pulled her away from Sue.

"Calm down, Bella," Leah said. "My mom really doesn't know what you're talking about. You're fucking crazy. I knew it would happen one day. You finally lost it, Bella!"

"Shut the fuck up! I'm not crazy!"

"Of course you are! Ever since Renee died, you started losing it and you take it out on us and Charlie. You could have done everybody a favor and joined your mother!"

Bella was about to punch Leah in the damn face like she deserved it, but felt two large arms around her waist, pulling her away.

"Bella! Calm down!" Charlie pleaded.

Bella struggled and fought his arms off, feeling suffocated with the man she currently detested holding her down.

"Bella, please, calm down!"

She finally broke free from his arms and turned to face him.

"Where is Mom's stuff?"

"Baby…"

"No, where is it, Charlie? Just fucking answer me," Bella cried.

She fell to her knees, gripping the ground and sobbing with the pain increasing in her chest. Though she was present at the funeral and even though she saw her lifeless mother in that box, he had made it official. He had made it a truth.

Her mother's stuff was gone, because she was dead.

_Mom is dead_

Suddenly everything went black.

~SDFAL~

It was early morning when Bella woke up. She found herself on top of her bed wearing the same clothes from the day before and a headache from hell. She showered, getting rid of the dry tears on her face and the reminders of what had happened.

She moved around her bathroom and bedroom like a lifeless form, ignoring her stomach who dared ask for food. She sat in her usual brown wooden rocking chair facing the window, wondering what was wrong with her. She wished she could just run away. She didn't have money and she didn't have anybody else.

Jacob's house was barely big enough for him and his father and Alice's parents didn't like her.

But the house she lived in and the people she lived with weren't the only problems. She realized that in reality she wanted to run away from her pain and hurt.

That was impossible.

It didn't matter where she would end up, she would still ache in her chest and she would still be alone.

Bella was so lost in her pain that she ignored the door of her bedroom opening.

She ignored her father sitting next to her.

"You're just a kid," he said.

She closed her eyes and sighed.

"You're just a kid that doesn't understand a thing about life. You think you're all grown up and that you can do things like going up to Sue and scaring her half to death and threatening Leah with violence. What you did was unforgivable! I know you and I have had lows and that sometimes life isn't so fair to us, but you need to grow up, Bella. Stop being this whiny little girl that hurts people! Nobody wants that around."

Bella tuned him out. The way the rain drops ran down her window and the way the tree branches shook with the strong wind seemed more interesting.

She never noticed when he left.

It didn't matter.

She spent half the day staring out her window and sleeping before she decided to wake up. She was walking downstairs when she heard her father speaking to someone.

"So there I was, buying us dinner, and Esme Cullen and her son walk into the diner. If she weren't so sick looking I would go up to them."

"No you wouldn't," Sue said.

"If you could just see how smug looking that guy looks."

"Who? The son?"

"Yes, Edward Cullen. He looks and acts just like his father, a complete asshole. I can't wait until Bella ends her semester. Just thinking about how that guy teaches her class makes my blood boil."

Bella hid behind the wall and continued to listen to their conversation.

"Does he even know who you are? Wasn't he away in college when it happened?"

"I don't know if he does. But I hate his father, therefore, I hate him. Carlisle was my best friend and he threw me to the dogs, not giving a crap that I had a family to care for. This Edward fellow gives me a bad feeling. He lives in the outskirts of town, in a huge house by himself. I think he never comes out of that place. This is the first time I've seen him out in Forks."

"You make him sound like a creep, darling."

"Well I've heard some stuff about him that I don't like. He better stay away from this town and this family."

~SDFAL~

"So if you care, your dad didn't say anything to me or my parents. He just picked you up and took you to your room," Alice said on the ride to school, early Monday morning.

Bella just nodded and stared out her window.

"Look, Bella, I know losing your mom is pretty hard on you and the fact that your dad is with Sue sucks, but you can't act like this. Maybe you need some help…"

"You're right, Al. You're absolutely right. I'll do better. I'll do so much better," Bella said in a dry and serious tone.

She didn't say anything else.

During English, she stared at Mr. Cullen, who looked a little better than the week before. He was a beautiful creature either way, but seeing him healthy looking and passionately talking about literature made him the object of Bella's obsession. Of course, the main reason Bella obsessed and stared was that her father hated him. That was all that she needed to convince herself.

She stayed in her seat at the end of class, waiting for his tutoring session to begin. Luckily only two other students came in and quickly were dismissed when Mr. Cullen finished. He looked up and caught Bella waiting for him patiently at her desk.

"Isabella, I admire your dedication to writing and the world of English Lit, but you've made very good grades these past few days. I don't think you need my help anymore," he said, as he walked over to her desk.

"You don't want me here?" She panicked.

"It's not that, Isabella. I enjoy talking to you about your papers, but I just feel you're wasting your time here," he said.

Bella quickly worried that he wouldn't let her stay. This was the only way she could get him to talk to her without students around.

This wasn't part of the plan! She was going make him fall for her, but how? He didn't want her around.

She didn't know where the rush came from, but she suddenly found herself with her cheek pressed against his chest with tears running down her face. He kept his hands to his sides, not touching her.

"I don't want to go home, Mr. Cullen," she cried. _What are you talking about? _"The truth is, ugh…uh…it's so embarrassing…but…but I can't be home. I'm…I'm scared to be there!"

"Isabella," he said softly, finally patting her back. "Why? Is there something going on at your house that I should notify the authorities of?"

"No!" She shouted. "You can't! I mean…um…ugh, my step-mom and my dad, I don't want them to get in trouble."

"But?"

"But my dad is so violent and has a bad temper. My step-mother," she hiccupped, "she hates me too. She threatens me every day. I'm so scared, Mr. Cullen. Please! Please don't make me go home so early. Let me stay here with you. You can grade papers while I just sit here and do my homework from other classes. The longer I stay away from them, the better. Please!"

She was a fucking liar and she knew it, but the way the words came out of her mouth shocked her. Even the tears seemed so truthful. She was a great actress. She whimpered to add affect to her dramatic scene and hugged him tighter.

_God he smells heavenly._

_God you're full of shit!_

"Running away from the problem, Isabella, won't make it go away," he said into her hair.

She grabbed the back of his shirt and pretended to sob into his chest.

"You don't understand, Mr. Cullen. I hate going home. If you could just let me stay here for a little while, it would mean so much to me. I don't have to face my angry and violent father for another hour. I feel so at peace at here with you."

"You should tell someone about Mr. Swan."

"No, he doesn't hit me…most of the time. It's my fault."

"It can't be. Nobody deserves to live in hell, Isabella," he finally wrapped his arms around her, trying to soothe her pain with caresses on her hair and back. She hid her large smile in his chest. She fought the urge to chuckle at how stupid he was for falling for it.

"I do. I deserve it! I should cook better and clean the house. He gets mad when I don't. I'm a bad daughter!"

"You're just a kid!"

"No! I'm a young lady that should take care of her responsibilities. Please, just let me stay here!"

"What are you going to do when school is over?"

"I'm going to college, but in the meantime, I need a safe place. Just for the remainder of the semester. Please, Mr. Cullen." She heard him sigh. She knew he was battling with his thoughts. His heart pounded against her ear and it made hers speed up.

A weird warm feeling ran across her chest as she felt his warmth circle her. His scent and the hardness of his body, made her ache.

If only she could have him closer. If only he could hold her tighter.

_If only he could want me._ _Having him want me would be so amazing. _

_I wouldn't be so alone._

_I would have him._

_I wouldn't deserve it at all, not even a little._

"Fine. You can stay, Isabella," he said, bringing her back from her dreams. "You can stay as long as you need to," he said.

"Thank you! Thank you so much, Mr. Cullen!" She whispered into his chest, sniffed her tears and hid her large grin.

_This lying business is so much easier than I thought._

He pulled her back and sadly smiled down at her.

"Are you sure you don't want me to tell anybody?" He asked. The look of worry on his face made Bella proud of what she could accomplish. His furrowed eyebrows and saddened green eyes added to the feeling of victory. She wanted to continue her deception.

She nodded and with fake innocence, bit down on her lip. She blinked her deceitful tears down her cheeks. She was sure he was staring at her face, making her blush.

He cleared his throat and let go of her body. "Okay, but if they ever hurt you, Isabella, you must tell me."

She nodded and smiled cynically when he turned his back to her to return to his desk. She wondered what else she could lie about. It seemed so easy. The words that left her mouth held no truth and yet Mr. Cullen fell for each and every single one.

"So how is your mother?" She asked.

"She is doing better. It was just a false alarm," he answered returning his attention to his work, trying his best to avoid looking at her and continuing the conversation.

"I'll just sit here then," she said and he nodded.

After a few minutes of silence, Bella stood up and walked to the front of his desk. He was lost in a paper he graded, shaking his head and sighing in disappointment every once in a while making red marks with his pen.

"Mr. Cullen?"

He looked up at her and smiled that crooked smile of his.

"Yes, Isabella?"

"I was wondering if I could, you know, help you grade?"

"What about your other homework?"

"Done."

He raised his eyebrows and looked around his desk. "There is really nothing for you to grade, but you could help me organize my stuff."

_Anything to stay with you._

"Okay," she said. Mr. Cullen spent five minutes explaining what he needed and how he wanted it finally leaving her to finish his grading.

Bella would look over his shoulder once a while to see what he was doing. She smiled at the way his eyes were glued on the paper he graded and how he furrowed his eyebrows. His concentration made his job seem like it was the most important of all.

He suddenly looked up and caught her stare. She gave him a cheeky smile.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing, you're just a great teacher. I really find it cool that you're so into it. Did you always know you were going to be a teacher?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Heck no. I wanted to travel the world and write books about it. You know, the usual silly teenage dreams."

"So what happened? Why aren't you traveling the world?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "The idea of having a traveling, tree hugging hippie slash gypsy of a son, didn't satisfy my father."

"Why just not do it? It's your life, not his."

"Because I respected my father so much, I couldn't bear with the idea of him being disappointed in me. But now…" He stopped and shook his head, bitterly swallowing saliva.

"Now what?" She asked and he looked down at his hands.

He sighed and shook his head. He didn't seem like he wanted to tell her what he was really going to say. Instead, he chuckled and returned his gaze to her.

"Now I teach senior English. I get to meet very talented young writers like you, Isabella."

She blushed and looked away. She couldn't stand to look into his green eyes when hers were so full of lies. She was going to hell and she knew it.

She felt his hand lay on top of hers.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" The worry in his voice made a small part of Bella feel guilt. He was such a good person and she was just an evil, destructive liar. She was only going to use him.

The worst part was that knowing this didn't stop her. She was going to continue her wicked plan. Even if those green eyes made her swallow a bitter feeling of guilt every time she looked into them. The memories of her betrayed and dead mother were stronger. The hate she felt for her father was consuming her and she wasn't going to stop it.

Not even try to…

"If you have issues at home, don't let that get you down, Isabella. Use that fear and anger for something better. All great artists did."

She smiled at him and nodded.

Oh, she would.

~SDFAL~

"This party better be good. The last one got busted so Lauren is taking precautions," Alice said as she applied eyeliner.

Bella stared at her in silence. It had been a long week. She wasn't in the mood to go to a party, but Alice convinced her that it would take away the bad thoughts so she agreed.

"Are you still emo?"

"Shut up, Alice!"

"What? You've been like this all week. Is it about your mom? Or dad?"

"It's about everything," Bella muttered and lay on Alice's bed. She stared at the ceiling wondering how she could feel satisfied.

"You know what my grandmother use to say?"

"No, Alice, please enlighten me," Bella mumbled.

"Well she stole it from Will Shakespeare, but who gives a shit. _If love pricks, prick back. Prick love for pricking and you beat love down._"

Bella chuckled and threw a pillow at her friend.

"Your grandmother—though moody and totally evil—was a genius, but I don't have love issues."

Alice flipped her friend off and laughed. "Just replace the word love with life. Beat life down. My grandmother wasn't evil! Only sometimes…"

"Like you're only a whore sometimes?"

"Exactly."

"Whatever."

~SDFAL~

The music was loud, the guests were already drunk and Bella fought the urge to scream. She sat on Lauren's couch drinking a beer wishing she was somewhere else and actually had a place to go.

She rolled her eyes when Mike and Ben broke one of Lauren's lamps. There was a couple making out on the couch in front of her making her gag.

_Fucking Alice_

Alice was too busy talking and flirting with some blonde college guy, leaving Bella to dwell in her misery. She kept playing with her phone and trying to block everyone out. She didn't even notice when someone sat next to her.

"Why so depressed?"

Bella looked to her side to find Lauren Mallory talking to her.

"Umm, just not into this party stuff," Bella muttered.

_Why in the hell is she talking to me?_

"Ugh, me neither," Lauren said into her red beer cup.

"But it's your party?"

"I know, but not my idea. It was Jessica's idea. I fucking hate her sometimes. She practically forced me. She thinks she owns the damn world!"

Bella chuckled and downed the rest of her beer. "Grow some balls, Lauren."

"Uh, I know! But I sorta thought this would be a good idea at first since my parents went out to Seattle with some friends of theirs. I forget their names…oh the Cullens!"

Bella whipped her head up at the mention of the last name.

"The Cullens? Your parents know Mr. Cullen's family?"

Lauren nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! Isn't it weird? Anyway, I like totally know a lot about Mr. Cullen. My parents used to take me to their house all the time and took vacations with them. He would always make conversation with me. He was really nice and respectful. He still talks to me sometimes at school, but he mostly ignores me now. Especially now that I'm his student, he totally ignores me. Like I'm gonna tell people about him and his past or something," Lauren rambled, but Bella—for the first time ever—paid close attention.

Even if she did have an annoying voice.

"His past? What do you mean?" Bella hoped Lauren wouldn't question her depressed need to know.

"You know…his past girlfriends and stuff. I know a lot about him since we used to sit together while our parents hung out together at dinner parties. It was always awkward since he's way older than me, but he tried to make me feel comfortable talking about things that I would know. But he is so much more mature than me."

_And a lot smarter._

Bella nodded and was about to ask Lauren a bit more about Mr. Cullen, when her eyes caught Leah talking to a group of guys and girls.

"Ugh, she had to be here," Bella moaned.

Lauren looked back and giggled. "So you hate your step-sister?"

"Completely."

"You know she's been trying to do it with Paul for the longest time. They have this Romeo and Juliet thing going on since he knows your dad and Sue don't like him. It's kinda cute."

"What? Wait, how do you know this Lauren? They hang out at the reservation."

"I have gossip connections."

Bella rolled her eyes and looked back at her step-sister. If Charlie and Sue knew about Leah's obsession to bed Paul they would have a hernia and hate her.

_Oh, but how are they going to find out?_

Bella smiled to herself and stood up from the couch. She placed her empty cup down and looked at Lauren.

"Can I borrow your phone?"

Lauren stood up, nodding and giggling. "What are you going to do, evil wench?"

"Shh," Bella hushed her. "I'm gonna get even with my evil step-sis."

"Oh, sounds awesome!" Lauren placed her phone in Bella's hands.

"I need you to take Leah into your guest room in about ten minutes. You think you can do that?"

"Hell yes!"

Bella rushed through the crowd of drunken teenagers and found Paul, laughing and drinking with his friends, Jared and Quil, by the beer keg. She tapped his shoulder, making him spin his body towards her in surprise.

"Hey, Bells!" He shouted and surrounded her with his big arms. "Jacob has been wondering about you. Are you gonna call him anytime soon?"

Bella sighed, remembering Jacob and the way things had ended the last time she saw him. She had been a bitch to him and he didn't deserve it.

"Yeah, I'll call him tomorrow."

"Cool," Paul said.

"I was actually looking for you for another reason."

"Really? For what?" Paul wiggled his eyebrows at her, making her laugh.

"You're such an idiot! Actually, I was talking about Leah."

Paul automatically stiffened his body and got rid of his grin.

"I ugh, um, um, uh." He nervously ran a hand through his hair.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell Charlie. I actually wanted to make it up to you for acting like such a bitch. I got Leah to meet you in Lauren's guest room so you two can be…you know…together."

"Really? I thought you hated your step-sister? You're really trying to help us?" Paul smiled.

"Yes. She's waiting for you. She told me herself. Go get her tiger."

Paul forgot about his friends and his beer and headed towards the direction Bella pointed, without realizing Bella was following close behind with Lauren's phone in her hand.

Like true lover's, Paul and Leah kissed in front of the room's door and slowly made their way inside.

~SDFAL~

Bella smiled to herself when she got home late that night. As she made her way to her room, Charlie and Sue argued about the pictures that had just been sent to their phones by an unknown number. Leah and Paul were the stars of the pictures as were their tongues.

Sue cried swearing that Leah wasn't that kind of girl.

Charlie cursed and threw things around in the kitchen.

Leah cried, while they lectured her and yelled their anger for her at the ceiling. She swore they only kissed. She swore they were just messing around. She swore she really didn't like him.

But they weren't buying it.

Bella hid behind a wall, listening to the whole conversation. She covered her mouth to hide her laugh. She heard Leah push her chair away and took that as a clue to run up to her room and pretend she didn't know.

She heard when Leah slammed the door to her room and cried herself to sleep.

Bella laughed while looking out her window, enjoying a victory for once. It felt great to win once in a while.

_Another lie. _

_Another victory._

_I'm gonna let them know how it feels to be betrayed._

All she needed now was to get Mr. Cullen to be with her.

She grabbed her phone and patiently waited for an answer.

"Are you really calling me, Bella?"

Bella giggled, made herself comfortable on her bed and sighed.

"You know a lot of what I need. I'm gonna need your help, Lauren."

* * *

><p><strong>So I've decided to nickname this Bella, Evilbella, Liarella, Connivingella (my beta thought of that one lol), Is<em>evil<em>ella, lol I can't choose. Help me choose one. Or do you have better suggestions? **

**Can't believe she did that! Tell me how you feel.**

**Until next time. **


	5. Classical Music

**Hello there.**

**Sorry this took so long. I've been feeling very sick for the past few weeks and finally got it together. **

**Thank you all who review, save and favorite. It means a lot to me. **

**Thank you to edwardrocksmysocks for cleaning/editing my stuff. :) I love you long time.**

Chapter 5- Classical Music

"Ms. Swan, they need you in the counselor's office," Mr. Banner stated, never looking away from his board. The room filled with whispers and giggles from the rest of the students.

Bella sighed, wanting so badly to tell them to go fuck themselves.

_Why in the world would the school counselor need to talk to me?_

_Maybe because you're an insane bitch._

_Fuck, maybe that's it._

Bella exited biology class, nervously running her hands through her hair and biting her lip as her mind filled with reasons behind this. Surely her father didn't talk to the counselor. He didn't give that much of a shit.

He didn't give a shit at all.

The counselor's office was by the main office, making Bella groan. She hated those old hags in the office and the smell of coffee so late in the afternoon.

They always had to make a comment about something. She pulled her skirt a little lower down her legs, tucked in her uniform blouse and made sure to hold her tongue so she wouldn't curse out loud.

_Who the hell is the counselor?_

_Some asshole that didn't know how to do anything else with his life so he decided to listen to whiny teens._

Bella stared at the name plate on the counselor's door when she got there. The name didn't sound so bad.

_Rosalie Hale…she better not give me shit._

Whatever the reason for calling her, Bella decided the best thing to do was to get on Ms. Hale's good side and stay there.

She knocked once on the wooden door before the door flew open.

"Isabella Swan, nice to meet you, I'm Ms. Hale." A tall, beautiful, young looking and intimidating blonde woman greeted Bella. She shook her hand and waved for her to come into her office. "Have a seat on that chair," she said pointing at a black leather chair in front of a brown desk covered in papers.

Bella sat down and stared at the mess, wondering how this woman could work in these conditions.

"I know what you're thinking, 'what a mess and she's a shrink.' I assure you my thoughts and ideas are very organized," Ms. Hale said.

Bella rolled her eyes at her attempt to be funny.

Ms. Hale sat in front of Bella, while looking at her up and down. She smiled to herself and began writing on a notebook.

"I was wondering why I'm here. I'm not crazy," Bella muttered.

Ms. Hale smiled, amused by the young girl.

"You don't have to be crazy to have issues, Isabella."

"It's Bella."

"Okay, Bella, though I wished I didn't meet half the people I know this way, I really want to help you."

Bella looked at the blonde woman in the eyes. She glared at her and wondered why in the world this blonde bitch thought she needed help.

_I don't need help. She can keep her help and shove it up her ass._

"I don't need help."

"I think different."

"Well you think wrong."

Ms. Hale once again smiled and grabbed a folder from the mess she had on top of her desk.

"A concern was brought to me from one of your teachers. He says you might be going through some sort of abuse at home. Maybe physical…"

_He fucking told this bitch about me? I told him not to tell anybody. I told him._

_He still thinks you're just a dumb kid._

"Maybe," Bella muttered.

"Hmm, what if I tell you, Bella, that I think you're lying?" Ms. Hale challenged.

Bella could feel her blood boil, the heat in her cheeks and ears, and the breath coming out a little fast.

"Wh-what? Uh…what? Why would you assume that? How dare you? You don't know me!" Bella yelled.

"I don't have to know you, Bella."

"Then how do you come up with this bullshit?"

"I've dealt with many girls and boys who are really abused and you know what they all look like?"

Bella sighed. "Shit?"

"They look scared. You, Bella Swan, don't look scared. You look pissed. You want attention. You need and crave it."

"Are you really allowed to talk to me like this?"

"Are you really not going to defend yourself? I'm calling you a liar."

_I fucking am._

"So? I don't need to defend myself from you. I know the truth. I live it."

"You live a lie."

"I don't have to listen to this. Mr. Cullen shouldn't trust such incompetent people like you," Bella said, not believing her boldness and started walking towards the door.

"Because of the accusations you made against your family, I am forced to get a response, Bella."

Bella stared at her feet, with her back to Ms. Hale. "A response to what?"

"If you tell me right now that it's true that your father and step-mother abuse you, I will send this up and get you help. If you don't answer me, I'll request mandatory twice a week meetings with you and nobody has to know about this. Mr. Cullen will be assured that the situation is being handled."

Bella took a deep breath, trying to control her breathing and pounding heart beat.

"If you tell someone about me, outside this office, without me knowing, can you get fired?"

"I have to report it if its abuse…"

"No, not that. Just anything else I say."

"This is a confidential area. Anything you confess to me, I can't disclose."

Bella didn't answer and slammed the door behind her.

~SDFAL~

"So, classical?" Bella asked Lauren in the girl's restroom before English class.

"Yes, he loves that shit," Lauren said as she checked her make-up in the mirror. Bella never understood how girls could put on so much crap "He's really like an old man. Listens to classical music, watches old movies, reads a lot, and plays piano."

"He plays piano?" Bella tried hiding the excitement in her voice, but she failed. He sounded too good to be true. Edward Cullen didn't sound like the idiots at school who loved watching shitty movies, listening to bad music and thought MTV was the source for life issues.

He sounded like a man.

He sounded like the man she wanted.

He sounded like the man she would have.

Later that afternoon, Bella acted as if her encounter with Ms. Hale hadn't affected her. She pretended as if everything was okay. She didn't confront Mr. Cullen about telling the school's shrink about her.

Mr. Cullen didn't ask her about it, but she could tell he was itching to know. She decided to keep him worried. It would keep him interested.

That night she obsessed over classical music. She researched it until her eyes began to close on their own. She fell asleep with Clair De Lune playing in her iPod. She had never been a music fan; as strange as that sounded. She had simply never enjoyed it.

Since her mother passed away, nothing was good enough.

But the music Bella discovered in her obsessive research, calmed her. It soothed her nerves and brought a bit of peace to her angry and bitter heart.

~SDFAL~

"What's on your mind today, Bella?" Ms. Hale asked. She had scheduled Bella in, after reading more about the girl that lost her mother at an early age.

Rosalie hated most of the kids in school. They were spoiled brats or ungrateful assholes but she remembered being a teen, a teen like Bella, once. That's what kept her working in schools. That's what made Bella a worry.

"What's on my mind?"

"Yes."

"Debussy."

"Really?"

"Yes. Why do you question it?"

Rosalie chuckled. "It's not common for kids your age to listen to Debussy."

"I'm not a kid and I'm not like them."

"What makes you different from everybody else, Bella Swan?"

"My soul is mine," Bella said.

"Your soul is yours?"

"Yes. They don't have one."

Rosalie chuckled again. "Do people love you, Bella?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Why is that?"

"Nobody tells me. Even if they do, I don't want them to love me. They don't love me. They love who they think I am."

"Who says they love you?"

"Jacob."

"Jacob?"

"My boyfriend."

"He doesn't know you?"

"Nobody does, Ms. Hale. He wouldn't love me if he really knew me. Yes, I'm that clichéd teen who nobody really knows, but I know myself."

"Who are you?"

"A liar."

~SDFAL~

"Do you mind if I listen to my iPod while I work on my paper?" Bella asked. Mr. Cullen smiled, nodding a yes and quickly returned his attention to his papers.

He looked really handsome today. He had gotten a haircut and while Bella loved his crazy locks, she was able to see his neck and perfect face a little better.

Bella pressed play on _Clair de Lune _on her iPod. She raised the volume as high as it would go and pretended to work on her paper.

Still nothing.

She took an earphone out, so maybe he could hear the music and comment on it.

Still nothing.

She looked up at Mr. Cullen who was too busy grading papers to notice.

Bella sighed, placed the earphone back in and closed her eyes. She let the sweet notes play and take over her heart. Her sour and bitter heart that felt so good with this song and when she was around him. She took a much needed breath and smiled to herself like a fool.

This really was a good song.

She started to hum to the song and forgot about lying and trying to impress Mr. Cullen.

When the song finished, she felt the rush of embarrassment and snapped her eyes opened as she remembered where she was. She found Mr. Cullen staring at her with a soft smile on his lips and the warmest green eyes she had ever seen. They stared at each other for a minute, maybe a minute too long.

She took her earphones out and placed them on top of her desk, but before she could start to apologize, Mr. Cullen stood up.

"You really like that song?" He asked with a smile on his face and joy in his voice.

"Yes," she said, almost in a whisper. There was something about him that didn't allow her to be so defensive or angry like with everyone else. His soft eyes welcomed her in and she didn't hesitate in accepting the inevitable invitation. He already owned some part of her, yet she hadn't realized it.

She would with time.

They spent the rest of the tutoring hour talking about music. She didn't know much and felt intimidated, young and ignorant, but she only felt it for a second. He gently assured her that it was ok. He would show her all he knew.

It was going to be okay.

She studied him while he passionately spoke about his favorite songs. Her eyes roamed his face and greedily memorized every line, every wrinkle, every shape his lips made and the way his eyes made her feel. The way he raised his eyebrows at her silly comments and attempts at humor and the way his deep laugh echoed in the classroom. Everything about him made her feel comfortable.

Comfort was not something she knew. Yet here, in an empty class room with Edward, she felt at home, at peace and comfortably numb. No pain and aching memory haunted her. He scared it all away.

As they said their goodbyes, he finally asked.

"Are your sessions with Ms. Hale, working?"

"Yes," she simply said.

He smiled.

"I wish I could do more for you. I get mad just thinking about you getting hurt. Tell me if there is something I can do."

"My father doesn't hurt me physically…anymore." She cleared her lie up…a little. "Though his words do hurt more than anything, I'm okay. I'll be fine."

"Bella, you're a great girl. But I can see the hurt in your eyes. Tell me."

She smiled at his attempt to help her. He was a sweet man.

"You could be my friend," she said.

He took a deep breath and nodded.

"It's highly frowned upon by society since I'm your teacher and all, but I'm sort of a rebel, so I guess I could do that," he said playfully with that fucking smile she loved.

"Good."

He gently caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers, but quickly pulled away just as Bella sighed and leaned into his touch. He blushed and said his goodbyes.

She left school with a pocket full of small notes of bands and songs he suggested and a soft, new smile on her lips.

Alice questioned her mellow mood. Bella only shook her head and looked out her window, excited for another day for the first time in a very long time.

~SDFAL~

"So if I save about five grand, I'll be able to fix up the old Rabbit. I'm fourteen hundred away," Jake said.

He turned to look at Bella to see if she shared his excitement, but found her eyes concentrated on the night sky with a small smile on her beautiful lips. She didn't seem to be thinking about stars and planets, but he wasn't in her interest at the current moment. It made Jake worry.

He didn't say anything else and with a heavy heart prayed to whomever lived up there in the big sky, to help him keep her. His dad and some of his friends didn't understand his love for the depressed bad attitude girl that Bella Swan had become, but that wasn't who she was, even if she didn't' t know it either.

Bella was still the silly, fun, loving, and caring girl he first met years ago. She just had so much guilt and sorrow clouding her at the moment. He knew it would all go away and she would come back.

His true Bella would come back.

But now he worried some other guy would find her first.

"Bella?"

"Yeah," she whispered.

"I love you," he whispered back.

He stared at her face and felt a jolt of pain as she closed her eyes and sighed.

She never said it back.

~SDFAL~

"Do you even care that you're hurting him?" Ms. Hale asked.

Bella rolled her eyes. "I do care. I love him. He's my best friend."

"You are so hurt, Bella, that you fail to realize that your actions are hurting others around you."

"I don't want to hurt him."

"Then why don't you let him go."

"Because I'm a selfish bitch. If I lose him, I'm going to be alone. He is going to love someone else."

"But you don't love him that way."

"I know I don't, but he'd rather have me this way than nothing at all and I don't wanna be alone, so it works out."

Ms. Hale sighed. "It's okay to be alone, Bella. You'll eventually find someone and you have friends."

"I don't believe you.

"What don't you believe?"

"I don't deserve to find someone. So I'll keep what I have. I'm going to keep Jacob."

~SDFAL~

His laugh.

His laugh was made for her.

The musical sound made it to her heart and soul.

Bella didn't notice or care that she was laughing with him.

"So my father picked me up and ran us inside the house. He yelled for my mom to come. You should have seen her face, Bella, she was so freaked out that I was covered from head to toe in mud. I imagined she thought I was going to get sick or something. She has always been over protective," he said. He chuckled and shook his head at the memory.

"Your mom sounds like a great mother," Bella said and cringed at the sound of her voice cracking.

She looked down at her hands hoping he hadn't noticed, but of course he had.

"Bella, are you okay?" He softly asked.

"Yeah, I'm just being stupid."

"What about your mom? Is she over protective and smothering? You're a teen and so young, I bet she worries for you."

Bella shook her head and tried to looking at anything but his face. She cleared her throat.

"She uh…um she died when I was thirteen."

Edward's smile disappeared and in place of that smile, was now a frown. "I'm sorry, Bella. I suffer each day imagining how my life would be without my mother since she got so sick years ago. I probably can't come close to guessing how painful it has been for you to live without her."

"I miss her. I wish I had her smothering, over protective self again. I would give away my freedom to have her back in my life any day." Bella didn't realize the tears rolling down her face until he gently wiped them away with his thumbs.

She looked into green eyes and saw his worry. She felt so much peace as he held her face in his hands. But what she failed to notice is what he was feeling and seeing in her watery brown eyes.

"I'm sure she's looking over and loving you right now," he whispered.

"I'm sure."

~SDFAL~

"I hate carnivals!" Leah protested as Charlie drove her, Sue and Bella to the said carnival.

"They come only a few times a year, honey. Besides you loved them when you were little," Sue said.

"Well I'm not little anymore. Why couldn't I just stay home? Aren't I grounded?"

"You are and that's exactly why we couldn't leave you alone," Charlie said, making Bella smile.

She didn't say anything and just stared out the car window.

When they got there, without word, she walked away from them and found Alice.

"I'm so glad you're here," she mumbled as she hugged her friend.

"I couldn't possibly let you come alone. Besides, I love these things!" Alice squealed making Bella laugh.

They walked around for a few minutes, got on a few rides, ate some cotton candy and ended up on a bench.

"I'm so fucking out of shape. I can't believe I'm tired," Alice muttered.

"It could also be that damn funnel cake you ate," Bella said and muffled a scream when Alice pinched her.

"Speaking of all things sweet, look who is here," Alice said pointing towards the cotton candy stand.

Bella focused her eyes and after a few people moved out of the way, she caught sight of Edward Cullen and an older woman.

He laughed and looked to be really enjoying his time with her.

"I'm going to say hello," Bella said without waiting for Alice to respond.

When she finally got to Edward and the older woman, she cleared her throat and prepared to say hello, but he beat her to it.

"Bella! How are you?" He asked, while giving her a small hug. He smelled heavenly and manly. She wished the hug would have lasted a little longer.

"I'm great. I spotted you and came to say hello to my favorite teacher," she said playfully.

"That's cool." He turned to the older woman who was staring at Bella with a warm smile on her lips and loving eyes. Bella instantly felt warm and comfortable in her presence. "Bella, this is my mother, Esme Cullen. Mom, this is Bella, one of my students."

Bella nervously offered her hand to Esme, but jumped when she found herself wrapped in the older woman's arms.

"You're so lovely. My son has told me so much about you." Esme felt so soft. Her motherly spirit made Bella sigh into her hair.

How she had missed this feeling.

Esme pulled away and wrapped her weak and shaky arm around her only son's much stronger arm.

"It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen…"

"Call me Esme, dear."

"Esme, Edw…I mean Mr. Cullen has told me so much about you. You're famous. I almost feel like I know you," Bella said smiling. Edward smiled back.

"Of course, Ed is a mama's boy," Esme joked, while Edward rolled his eyes making Bella giggle at his boyish looks.

They talked and shared cotton candy for a while.

Without realizing or fighting it, Bella found herself with Esme's arm around her own while the two girls gossiped and giggled about Edward.

He would roll his eyes and sigh in annoyance once in a while, but Bella could tell he was happy about her interaction with his mother by the small smirk on his lips.

Bella honestly enjoyed talking and spending time with Esme. She forgot about her family, Jacob, Alice and the entire carnival crowd and lost herself in Esme Cullen's words. She was so lovely. Bella didn't understand how her father could hate her.

She did seem sick and too weak for her age. She couldn't be more than 45. Bella now understood Edward's worry for his mother.

They walked around a few more times until suddenly Esme buckled her knees and began to fall. Edward held onto her and gently sat her on a bench. With a worried expression, he held onto her face with his hands and brushed her hair off her eyes.

"Mom, are you okay? What's wrong?"

Bella didn't know why her chest tightened with the sound of his painful worry. She felt as if they didn't deserve to be going through this. They were good people.

"Too much movement and…ugh I don't feel so good, honey," Esme said, out of breath.

Edward quickly picked her up and headed towards his car. Bella followed close behind.

This wasn't part of the plan, but who the hell was thinking of that now?

For the first time in years, Bella was thinking of someone else's well being instead of her own.

**So? Do you guys like Rosalie? Do you think she'll end up helping Bella with her issues and inner demons? Are you worried for Esme?**

**Any other thoughts?**

**Let me know.**

**Until next time.**


	6. The Promise

**I would make excuses for myself but that would just waste your time! **

**See you at the end.**

**Thanks again to my beta, EdwardRocksMySocks. You rule the world...well my comma world.**

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><p>Chapter 6- The Promise<p>

Bella hadn't waited in a hospital in years.

She dreaded the place.

The sounds and smells held no good reminders. They only reminded her of what was no more.

She swallowed the thick mass of worry and took a deep breath. She needed to remind herself that she wasn't there for herself. She was there for the man that currently sat next to her with his face in his hands and a bottle of pills in front of him.

He hadn't said a single word to her since they got to the hospital, but she hadn't expected him to say anything. What could he possibly have to say? Perhaps he wasn't aware she was still by his side. Maybe she could she just leave and go home?

No.

She wouldn't do that to him.

Bella wanted so badly to touch him and ask if he was okay, but the fear was too much. She was afraid to ruin him more with silly words and questions.

She stared at his back as he breathed in and out. She wanted to wrap her arms around his body. She wasn't sure if it was to comfort him or herself.

Maybe both.

He suddenly stood up when a blonde doctor made his way to them.

"Dr. Hale, how is she?" Edward asked.

"Calm down son, she's alright," the older man said. Edward visibly relaxed and let the doctor explain. "She just over worked herself and she needs a lot of rest."

"Of course, I'll get her home as soon as possible."

"Give me a few more minutes with her. I had some lab work done just to make sure, but you can go see her if you wish. Where is your father, Edward?"

Edward sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Business trip to New York."

"Of course. Tell him I said hello and that he should visit us more often."

"I will."

Edward walked towards his mother's room. Bella followed without asking. It was hard to keep up with his fast pace, but her will to not lose him was greater.

"Mom," he whispered to a resting Esme as he sat by her side.

She envied him.

She also felt guilt for looked tired and much sicker than she did a few hours before. She slowly opened her eyes to face her son and though she looked and probably felt a few feet away from death, she managed to give him the warmest smile Bella had ever seen.

Bella stared at the way Edward tried to assure his mother that things would get better. It warmed her heart which surprised her since she thought it was dead. The way Edward cared for his mother and the way she loved him, made Bella feel something special for the first time in a long time. She had forgotten about her own existence for awhile and studied what she longed for.

A mother's embrace.

Esme suddenly turned her gaze towards Bella. Her eyes brightened and her small lips gifted Bella with a smile. "Sweet girl, come," she barely managed to say.

Edward quickly stood up and stared at Bella. His serious face and frown made Bella wonder what she had done wrong now. His face seemed tired, his clothes were wrinkled, his hair was a mess and his eyes yelled for her to go away.

But she couldn't.

Bella slowly, nervously, made her way to Esme. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, sweet girl. I'm just an old hag. But good thing Edward has the best heart."

"Mom."

"Oh hush, Edward. Let me gush."

Bella smiled at her and took her soft hand in hers. "I'm glad you're okay, Esme."

"Me too. I haven't had the chance to gossip with you about my son." Both the girls giggled. Bella swore she heard Edward chuckle, but they were interrupted when a nurse asked for him to go to the front desk. Bella was left alone with Esme.

"You know, my son is a good man. A little sick himself, but all he has is a broken heart. I know a girl like you could fix it for him."

Bella nervously bit her lip. "You know he is my teacher."

"So?"

Bella was shocked that Esme didn't think of that fact to be of great importance. It didn't make any sense.

"I've known you for a few hours, but I can see the way you look at him. Always trying to get his approval and good grace, no woman has bothered to do that in years. It must mean you have true feelings for him."

Bella looked away, not daring to look at her in the eyes.

"He can lose his temper most of the time and act like an ogre, but he is a good man. And you're a sweet girl."

"I'm not a good person, Esme."

"Yes you are," the older woman assured her.

Bella didn't answer back. She didn't dare argue with the good woman. There was silence for a short while.

"Do you find me pleasant?" Esme asked.

"Yes, of course, Esme."

"Then can you promise me something?"

"Anything."

"When I die, please make Edward happy. He hasn't been happy in years and I fear that besides the tragic events that have clouded him, I am also responsible for that unhappiness. Even though I know and accept that I will die, Edward denies it. It only makes him sick with worry. I can't change that. He's always been a man of worry and that's only because he has such a great heart. Teach him how to use it for something else, Isabella."

Bella felt her eyes water and her heart ache. How could she say no?

"I promise."

~SDFAL~

Bella declined a ride from Edward to her house. He was in a bad mood again and she couldn't bear his dark eyes any longer. She promised Esme to keep in touch.

After making up a story of why she had disappeared from the carnival to Charlie and Sue, Bella tossed and turned in her bed.

She wondered why Esme had picked her to make her son happy. If she only knew her bad intentions, she would be heartbroken. She hated herself for it and the guilt made it difficult to breathe. Esme was a great mother and an amazing person, while Bella was hateful and a liar.

In school, Edward began to act cold and indifferent with her again. He left her alone in his classroom instead of staying with her and avoided her eyes at all times.

It angered her. She hadn't done anything wrong to him.

_Well you're planning it._

_But I haven't done anything yet._

_You're still a bitch._

By Thursday, Bella had enough and after waiting a few minutes in the empty class room, went after Edward.

He was in the library grading his papers. His left hand squeezed what looked like a stress ball.

"I need to talk to you." Bella didn't even bother to whisper.

He whipped his head up and glared at her.

"Shh! We're in a library."

"I don't care. I need to talk to you."

"Fine," he muttered and without waiting for her, he headed outside. He sat on a bench and crossed his arms across his chest. "Talk."

Bella took a deep breath to calm herself. "What did I do wrong?"

"What do you mean?" he said dryly, looking unaffected by her question.

"You know what I mean! You're ignoring me and acting like an ass to me.

"Isabella, I didn't know I had to pay attention to you and I forbid you to speak to me like that. Next time, I will send you to detention."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Yes, two weeks dete…"

"No, I don't mean that. I mean, why are you talking to me as if…"

"As if you're my student? Because you are."

"But I thought…"

"Whatever you thought was wrong." Edward stood up. His tall frame towered over Bella, making her feel small and insignificant. "We've already crossed so many lines. Let's forget everything and return to reality. Please don't call my mother and don't address me as if we are friends. We are not," he said and with one final glance into her eyes, he walked away leaving Bella behind.

Shock took over her. The pain in her chest was foreign and unwelcomed, but hurt it did. She bit her lip to keep from whimpering and closed her eyes to avoid the stupid tears.

~SDFAL~

"I've noticed you only have one friend, Bella. Do you consider yourself a little anti-social?" Rosalie asked. She felt relieved now. Bella seemed to feel more comfortable now and seemed to open up.

"You can call it that."

"Why?"

"I'm just a negative person. I think the worst of everyone."

"Is there anybody, besides your friend Alice, that you think is good?"

"Yes, but he thinks of me as worthless."

"Is this "he" Jacob?"

"No. It's just somebody who isn't easily fooled."

"Are you saying Alice is a fool?"

"No…maybe. But the harder I try to be this man's friend, the more he denies me. It's almost as if he can sense my negative vibe or some bullshit like that."

"Are you going to give up trying to be his friend?"

"No."

"So eventually he's going to be fooled?"

"Yes."

~SDFAL~

On Sunday afternoon, while Charlie and _his_ family watched football, Bella sulked in her room…as usual. She wrote and wrote nonsense in a notebook while listening to _Moonlight Sonata _on repeat. She felt like a psycho, but couldn't bring herself to care.

Around five o'clock, she was drifting off to sleep when her cell phone began to ring. It was an unknown number so she ignored it. A few minutes later it started again this time displaying a number she didn't know.

"Hello?"

"Meet me outside your house right now," a velvety voice said before the line went dead.

Bella tripped on her way to her window. She glanced outside and noticed a silver Volvo parked in front of her house.

She rushed downstairs thanking God nobody was home. She was so excited, she had forgotten a sweater. The cold hit her hard, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

She opened the passenger door and slipped into his car.

He wasn't looking at her and instead glared at the road ahead of him.

"Why didn't you answer me the first time?"

"Really?"

"Really."

"I don't answer unknowns."

He took a deep breath and squeezed his steering wheel.

"My mother fired her nurse," he said randomly.

"Sorry to hear that. But what does that have to do with me?"

"For some crazy reason she wants you to care for her!"

"What?"

"I didn't mumble, Isabella."

"No, I mean why me? I'm not a nurse."

"All you really have to do is to remember to give her medicine when she needs to take it, cook for her, and help her clean around the house. It's my house, so it's not that unclean."

"And she wants me to do it?" Bella couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Believe me, Isabella. I tried my best to discourage her from this absurd idea, but she seems to be infatuated with you. But you do have the option to decline. I know you're too young to understand or care…"

"I'll do it," Bella said causing Edward to finally jerk his head in her direction.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"You really want to spend your afternoons and weekends caring for an old lady."

"She's a great person and if she wants me around, then I will be at her side."

"It's not a last request before she dies sort of thing!"

"I didn't say it was."

Edward took a deep breath. "I don't even know why I came here. This was absurd. My mother will just have to hire a professional."

"You really should think about your mother's wishes and happiness. You shouldn't be so selfish. Just because you hate me, doesn't mean you have to punish your mother, asshole," Bella spat and angrily exited his car. She walked as fast she could towards her house, ignoring the sound of another car door opening and closing.

She was about to reach the door when a hand grabbed her arm, pulling her back to his chest.

"I don't hate you, Isabella," he said into her hair. The way his hot breath reached her neck and the way his hand touched her skin, made her shutter.

She sniffed and violently pulled away from him. "Well you sure act like I'm the worst scum on earth."

He gently turned her towards him, but she refused to look at him in the eyes.

"You're just a silly girl," he whispered as he caressed her cheek with his fingers.

"Then what do you want from me? Why don't you leave?"

"Because you're right, I have to think of my mother's best interest. Will you work for me and help her?"

She looked up at him. His serious green eyes did the trick. She would punish herself later for falling so quickly, but all she could do currently was nod.

"Yes."

~SDFAL~

Who drove their car in silence?

Edward did and it drove Bella mad. He didn't even bother to make small talk. She had agreed to start helping his mother on Monday after school. Another nurse helped her in the mornings, but the afternoons would belong to Bella. Edward still didn't look too enthusiastic about it.

Bella couldn't believe that she was so excited to work for Edward and stay with Esme, but she was. She had lied to Charlie, telling him she was working for an older woman as a care giver named Esther to earn a little money for college. Charlie didn't question more and for that Bella was thankful.

Edward drove for what seemed like an hour, deep into the forest.

"Why do you live so far? Could you get any creepier?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "The house used to belong to my grandfather and I liked being away from people. Is there a problem?"

"No, just wondering."

"Well don't wonder out loud. It annoys me."

Bella rolled her eyes this time and looked out her window. "Are you bipolar?"

"Are you wondering out loud again?"

"No, I'm just getting my facts in order."

Edward smirked, but didn't take his eyes away from the road.

"I'm not bipolar."

"Well it sure as hell does seem like it. You were so nice to me before."

"I was also an asshole to you before that."

"And now we're back."

"It's the circle of our relationship, Isabella."

"This is a relationship?"

"You know what I mean."

"Most of the time I do. But that's only when you're talking about Charlotte Bronte and Bram Stoker. The rest of the time, I ignore you because I get whip lash from your mood swings."

Edward smirked again, but didn't say anything.

He finally slowed down and headed towards a large house that seemed so old and uncared for. The grass and trees needed care and the paint of the house needed another touch, but it was strangely beautiful.

Bella gasped as her eyes gathered its beauty and failed to realize Edward had already exited the car. He opened the door for her and helped her get out.

"This is where you live?"

"Yes, I wish you to respect my house and my mother and keep that smart mouth of yours closed."

She ignored him and continued to study the house.

"And, please feel free here, Isabella. You can do your homework and watch TV just as long as my mother doesn't need anything from you. I wish you to be happy even if you doubt it."

Bella was once again too busy studying the house, that she ignored the honesty and softness of his words.

He stood in front of her and extended his hand to her. "Come, let me show you the house."

Bella took a deep breath and his hand.

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><p><strong>Soooo what do you think will happen now? And what is up with this Edward? Serious issues.<strong>

**PLEASE, (shamlessly beg) leave me some reviews. I wanna know how I am doing.**

**Luv,**

**Stewluv**


	7. The Blue Door

**Hey guys! Sorry for the complete lack of updates. Life has had other plans for me! But here I am with another chap. Once again thanks to edwardrocksmysocks for revising my sh** and putting up with my random updates :)**

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><p>Chapter 7- The Blue Door<p>

The sounds of the old floor were strangely soothing to Bella as she walked into the house that belonged to Edward.

The distant playing of classical music in another room, the old decorations and the lonely feeling made Bella smile. It all seemed perfect.

It was all him.

"Mother," he called up the stairs and the music suddenly stopped. He looked down at Bella and gave her a knowing nod.

"Is Bella here?" Esme asked as she walked down the stairs.

"I'm here," Bella answered back causing Edward to sigh. Bella rolled her eyes and greeted a smiling Esme.

"Why, dear, you look more beautiful than the last time I saw you. Isn't that right, Edward?"

Bella could feel her cheeks redden and her ears warm. Luckily, Edward didn't answer and instead glared at his mother.

"Bella, dear, I'm in the mood for cookies. Come to the kitchen with me," Esme said and walked away without waiting for her.

Bella was about to follow having no idea where the kitchen was, when Edward held her by her arm. "You better not give my mother a hard time."

"I won't. What kind of witch do you think I am?"

Edward took a deep breath, tensed his jaw, and then shook his head. "I only have one more rule and you have to promise me, Isabella, that you will follow this rule till your death."

"Damn, till death? Must be serious."

"It is!"

"Fine, I promise."

"Upstairs, there is a room at the very end to your right. It has the only blue door in the entire house."

"Ok?"

"Do not go into that room. It's locked, but don't dare find a way to get into that room."

"Why would I?"

"I don't know, but just promise you won't."

Bella looked into his eyes. This strange request was coming from deep part of his soul and she had no choice but to agree.

"I promise I won't."

With that, Edward dropped her arm and walked away.

~SDFAL~

"When the doctor's told me I was sick, Edward forced me to come live with him since Carlisle, my husband, is always away on business. My poor boy worried I would die of solitude. But I have been married to Carlisle for years. I've always been alone." Esme laughed shyly while she and Bella waited for the cookies to bake.

"Before you came to live here, why did Edward buy such a huge house for himself? I mean…that's none of my business, but this house is…"

"He didn't buy it. His uncle, Henry Cullen, left it to him when he died. Henry didn't have any children himself, but had inherited this house from his parents. He always loved Edward as a son and promised to leave him something after his death. He never changed anything about this place. Edward has always been an old soul and loved this house. He refuses to change anything in it as well. It drives his father crazy. He just doesn't understand my son. I don't think anybody ever has," Esme said with a sad smile.

"He's a good man from what I've seen, a little grumpy, but still good."

Esme laughed at Bella's comment and took her hands. "My sweet girl, you're brave. I like it. Don't ever let him get to you. Always defend yourself. That's how you will gain his respect and then his heart."

Bella shook her head incredulously at the silly thought.

~SDFAL~

Bella didn't realize how fast time had passed until she started yawning and saw that Esme had fallen asleep. They had been watching _The__Golden__Girls_ on TV after an afternoon of cooking and gossiping about Edward, old hags in Forks, and Carlisle…mostly about Edward. She hadn't seen Edward all day and wondered where he lost himself in the huge house.

She helped Esme into her bed, said her goodbyes and she made her way to the staircase catching sight of the infamous blue door room.

There was nothing special about the door, just the unusual color considering everything else in the house was dark colored. She stared at it for a little while more and then decided it was time to leave.

As she made it to the last step, Edward appeared in front of her, making her jump.

"God," she gasped. "You could at least make some noise before appearing in front of someone like that."

He smirked. "Do you find me frightening? Should I take offense?"

She rolled her eyes. "I have the feeling you would take offense to the wind blowing, but that's just what I think... no offense," she said sarcastically making him smile widely. It had been a while since she had seen him smile. It was sure a sight to see.

"None taken, actually."

"Oh, wow, great, super…"

He sighed.

"What? I'm just celebrating the fact that I have not offended you. With you that's epic."

"Why do you feel the need to fight with me, Isabella?"

"I'm not fighting with you. I'm simply having a conversation. I'm not a fighter. I believe in world peace and that good bull."

He just shook his head and walked away.

"Why must you always walk away?" Bella mumbled to herself.

~SDFAL~

Once again, Edward drove in silence. He didn't bother to have a conversation with Bella, so she ended up asleep against the car window. The warmth of his car and his scent made her feel comfortable, at peace and safe.

She was awakened by his soft voice calling her name and his rough hand rubbing her hand. She snapped her eyes open and found his green eyes staring at her. She didn't know if it was the sleep or if it was reality, but she found a sweet and soft look in his eyes. It wasn't the usual glare he gave her.

"Sorry, I was tired."

"No need to apologize, Isabella. You worked hard today. Caring for my mother is not an easy task."

"Your mother is wonderful. I loved spending time with her."

"Yes, but you could be resting in your house."

"A house that doesn't want me with a family that hates me."

"That can't be possible," Edward said lowly.

"It is."

"They can't hate you. Nobody could hate you, Isabella," he said caressing her cheek with the back of his fingers. She loved it when he did that. She almost believed his words.

"I guess I have to get out of your car now." She opened the car door, but Edward quickly reached across her and closed it shut.

"Before you leave, I wanted to thank you, Isabella. My mother has great affection for you and you are making her happy in these moments." Edward looked into her eyes as he said this.

Bella couldn't find her words or even her thoughts. She was lost in his pained green eyes that also, at the moment, were full of sincerity.

"I…uh…um, I love being here. Your mother is an amazing person," she managed to mumble.

He gave a short lasting smile and nodded, silently letting her know she could leave.

"Goodnight, Isabella. May your dreams be pleasant," she managed to hear him whisper.

"You too."

~SDFAL~

It didn't matter how many times she had seen him, every time Edward Cullen entered a room, Bella couldn't hold back her gasp and stare.

Even in the noisy cafeteria, he owned her thoughts and eyes.

"Hey, Bella." Jessica's voice, unfortunately, pulled Bella out of her trance. She sat next to her, placing her tray of food in front of her. Bella hoped she didn't intend to stay and chat. She didn't hate the girl, but she couldn't stand her. Also, Alice was running late to lunch and Bella didn't want her new company to scare her off.

"Hey, Jess."

"So I was wondering. How is it going with the hot teacher?"

"Shh!"

"What? It's not like he knows we're talking about him."

"Just keep it down," Bella warned.

"Well?"

"It's going slow, but that was expected."

"Well you better hurry, Bella. You wouldn't want him to be nabbed by some hot older woman and have him forget about you, the immature, younger girl." Jessica left, but Bella didn't even notice. She was now drowning in the venomous words Jessica had injected into her mind.

_Another woman? No. He doesn't know anybody else around this town._

_How would you know? It's not like he would tell you that he has a girlfriend. He has no reason._

Bella quickly stood up and searched for Lauren around the cafeteria until she found her sitting with Tyler and Eric.

"Lauren, we need to talk," Bella ordered and without waiting for Lauren, pulled the girl by the arm.

"Bella, what is the deal?"

Bella didn't answer until they were outside, away from other ears.

"Does Edward have a girlfriend?"

Lauren tried to hide her smile, but it only annoyed Bella further.

"I'm being serious!"

"Bella, you don't have to be mad or jealous."

"I am not jealous!"

"Uh huh."

"Just answer!"

"No! He doesn't have a girlfriend, but he did have a serious thing going on with a girl named Kate a few months ago. It ended and according to Kate it was just so she could finish her school."

"So do they still talk?" Bella didn't understand where this frustration of hers was coming from.

"I don't know. Maybe. They ended on a good note from what I heard from my mother."

Bella didn't wait for more and walked away leaving a confused Lauren behind.

~SDFAL~

"I don't like losing."

"What kind of losing?" Rosalie asked.

"Any kind of losing. I've lost so much already. I am selfish and inconsiderate."

"Do you really think you're these things?"

"Yes. Because I don't like losing."

"I think you just need to learn to move on."

"No. I want what I want."

"What is it that you want now?"

"Him."

~SDFAL~

"Jacob, I can't see you right now. I have to go to work," Bella said annoyed as Jacob walked with her after school.

"Since when do you work?" He asked.

"Since whenever."

"Why haven't you told me?"

"Why must I tell you everything?"

"Geez, I don't know. Maybe, because I am your boyfriend and your best friend."

Bella stopped walking and looked up at the face of her hurt friend.

"Jake, I'm sorry. I'm such a bitch. I just…I've been very busy…"

"Bells," Jake interrupted her. "It's okay."

It angered her that he was so passive. Why didn't get angry? Why didn't he fight for what he felt?

_Because he is a boy and not a man._

_Like him…_

Jake took Bella's face in his hands and pulled her close for a kiss. His lips moved hungrily on hers, yet she didn't react. How wrong his lips felt against hers. She remembered the times she would tell herself how fortunate she was to have him, but now she couldn't wait for him to stop kissing her. She couldn't wait for him to leave her alone. Guilt filled her, causing her to never kiss him back. He sensed her reluctance and pulled away. Before he could say anything, someone cleared his throat and made both of them jump.

"Isabella, I thought you would want a ride," Edward said. Bella almost felt worried that he had seen her being kissed by Jacob, but the look on Edward's face made her rejoice.

He seemed…jealous. He glared at him with such great fervor that it made Jake look down at his feet.

"I'll see you around, Jake," she said and walked towards Edward.

He didn't say anything the whole time they rode to his house, but that was normal. Yet, she really wanted for him to ask about Jacob. She wanted him to show some kind of negative feeling towards him.

Maybe that would show that he liked her.

But he didn't say anything.

~SDFAL~

"Why don't you stay the night, dear?" Esme asked as Bella helped her cook dinner.

"I mean I could. It's Friday."

"Then come on! I could braid your hair and we could watch girly movies. I always wanted to do that with a daughter, but I didn't have one."

Bella blushed and nodded. "Okay, that sounds like fun. Let me just tell Charlie."

Dinner was just between the girls since Edward decided he wasn't hungry. Esme spent the whole time telling Bella stories of when she was young and Bella intently listened and pictured every story in her mind.

"Did your mom braid your hair?" Esme asked as she brushed Bella's brown hair.

"Yes. We would do this every night," Bella whispered.

"You must miss her terribly."

"I do. So much, that it hurts and it makes me mad."

"What makes you mad? That you miss her and or that she isn't around anymore?"

"Both. It makes me so mad that I miss her. I wish she was with me, but…"

"But?"

"It also makes me mad that she isn't around to see what I've become."

"She would be proud."

"No, Esme. She would be upset, but she would fix me. She isn't around to fix me."

"Oh, child. You don't need anybody to fix you. You fix yourself. Your mother would only help with the process. I could help you."

Bella didn't say anything and held back her tears. Esme tenderly ran her fingers through her hair as she braided it. Her touch was so soft and motherly.

Just like her mother was when she was alive.

She looked up the stair case from where they were sitting in the leaving room. Edward's eyes were looking at her, not even bothering to mask their wonder and concern. She wondered how long he had been standing there.

He walked away and once again disappeared into the darkness of his house.

Bella dreamt that night of her mother playing with her when she was a child. The laughter that her mother produced sounded like a beautiful melody. Bella realized it was truly a song when she suddenly woke up.

The beautiful melody was coming from down stairs. She found herself walking towards the sound. Careful not to make any noise, she sat at the bottom of the stairs and stared at Edward's hands that played the piano. Her eyes wandered up to his face and stayed there for the rest of the song.

She once again fell into her new addiction. Studying every detail of his face was the only way she could control her strange need for him. She needed him and his approval.

He denied her everything and it frustrated the hell out of her.

But her eyes had the pleasure and fortune to have him.

Those same eyes became heavy with sleep after a few songs and began to close. She knew she was falling asleep but couldn't bring herself to move away from Edward's wonderful music. She was dreaming again, she knew she was asleep, it would explain Edward's velvety voice saying "beautiful" and his finger tracing her cheeks.

His touch was so smooth, caring, almost loving.

_It must be a dream._

She opened her eyes and found Edward standing above her. He was a man of few words, but he didn't need them. His face said so much, but she couldn't understand it all. She couldn't understand the calm and warm expression he currently held as he stood above her.

He extended his hand to her, offering to help her up. She took it without hesitation. The warm current of energy that passed from his hand to hers was too strong. She knew he had felt it as well.

He had to.

They didn't say anything and instead listened to each other's breaths and the silence of the old house. He gently rubbed the top of her hand with his large thumb, making her sigh deeply.

She held onto his eyes until he finally looked down and let go of her hand.

"We should go to sleep. It is late," he simply stated.

"Of course," she whispered, but didn't move.

She took a deep breath, taking him in. It made her chest ache in a strange and unknown way. She had never felt like this before.

_How can you not feel this? You must feel this, too. _

"Goodnight, Isabella," he whispered and before she knew it, he leaned in and gave her a soft, warm kiss on the cheek.

She gasped and held onto his shirt. Why was it so difficult to breathe all of the sudden? Why did it feel like her body had forgotten the existence of gravity? Why didn't he kiss her one more time?

He leaned away and gave her a final wave and left her at the bottom of the stairs.

She was certain that nothing else had occupied her dreams that night. He was there, in every dream. His smell, his face, his warmth and that beautiful glow that he seemed to posses that made her feel weak and as if she belonged to him, made her restless.

She woke up to the sound of a ticking noise coming from the next room. She rubbed her face and tired eyes. She cursed as she realized how early it still was. She felt as if she had just closed her eyes. But the overwhelming dreams of Edward Cullen and the persistent ticking coming from the next room forbid her to sleep.

She got out of bed, desperate to discover what the noise was. She headed towards the noise; she realized it was coming from the room with the blue door.

Hesitantly she walked towards it. She looked around to make sure Edward was not around. When she was satisfied that he was not, she reached the door and placed her ear against the wooden door.

The noise vibrated the door against her ear. She wondered what it could be and why Edward was so obsessed with her not opening the door.

The noise finally stopped and Bella huffed not having an answer to her curious and restless mind. She detached her ear from the door and was about to head back to the guest room, when she bumped into his chest.

She gasped at the contact and was so terrified at the look of pure anger in his menacing green eyes that she couldn't find her voice to scream. She was certain her heart had stopped.

"How dare you!" He said as he tightly gripped her arm.

* * *

><p><strong>SOOO things never seem to get better with Edward and Bella. But have faith, they will.<strong>

**What do you guys think is going on with Bella?**

**Leave me some love.**


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